It's been almost two months since my last post and I feel like I should give everyone an update.
If you know me personally you'll know that baby number two has been born. To say everything went smoothly would be untrue. We'll get to that later.
From September 13th (my last post) to October 11th, my life went to a stand still. My house started to look like pinterest threw up in it and I was mostly focused on making sure the transition between going from a family of 2 to 3 would be smooth. My only dates were with a 3 year old, boys could wait.
On the night of October 10th, my mom got the phone call that it was time to go, my water broke. As a smoker, I grabbed my bags and sat outside and just tried to prepare myself of what was to come. She drove like a bat out of hell, completely taken aback that I was just sitting there, cigarette in hand, waiting. We dropped off little man to the babysitter, whom I had just seen a half hour prior and off we went.
4 hours later, there he was. The little itty bitty baby who I had shared so many new experiences with. Little did he know, he was there through it all. The ups, the downs, the secret tears I shed, the anger to what had happened, the drama, he was there.
I had continued to feel strong contractions after everything was said and done and had given my nurse a head's up. She said it was normal and everything was fine. After my epidural had worn off, my bed felt wet and I had asked my mom to call the nurse. They took one look under the blanket and all hell broke loose. Nurses were screaming for Doctor's and I was warned I was going to feel an extensive amount of pain but there was no time for pain meds. After I'm pretty sure what felt like the doctor's both arms and hell maybe even a leg up my poor lady parts, they said everything was caught in time and I'll be fine. WRONG. There's many theories of why my hemorrhaging happened, from everything to bad karma (yes, you can take a wild guess who said that) to the fact they used forcepts to take out my placenta, the world may never know.
I was told afterwards I was extremely pale when I got home but I felt completely fine. 100% (in my mind) back to normal. I was sitting fine and didn't have to deal with any stitches this time around (Thanks child #1). However, less than 24 hours later, I was at a family function and one minute I was parading around my new baby, the next I was hovered over in pain and could not physically move. I asked my mom to call an ambulance and that was the longest 20 minute wait of my life. After taking my blood pressure and it was falling dangerously low, I was considered "hot" and was rushed back to the hospital. I think we should all take a minute though and ask the Harper government TO INSTALL BETTER SHOCKS ON OUR AMBULANCES. Every bump caused me to scream out, and we did 80 km/h down Walker Road construction. I thought I was going to bounce off the gurney.
I was thrown right into a private room in the ER and had a great nurse named Anthony. Even in distress I couldn't help but admire his smile and thought about asking if he was single. However, he did know I was post partum and well, this was not the time for explanations of my situation. An ultrasound had concluded that I still had a massive blood clot in my uterus and was still experiencing massive hemorrhaging. To summarize my 24 hours there: I had to get 2 bags of blood, LOTS of morphine, 4 pills where no one should have anything put up, the worst pee of my life, and if you're in the ER on thanksgiving weekend, you're going to have a bad time listening to people puking.
Finally, I was released and given a wack load of pills, antibiotics, pain meds, you name it. I was home to my babies and have been ever since. It was quite the eye opener of a weekend and in a way, this did not shock me. Little bitty baby had to make sure his birth was remembered and trust me, it definitely will be.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Flirtation or Just Being Polite?
I wonder if yesterday was the 13th for me. Apparently my bad luck runs a day ahead. I woke up in the morning, took a shower, got dressed and off I went to my baby doctor appointment. In a hospital full of people I made my way to my appointment, ran into my uncle in the lobby, and to the store I went. From the store I picked up my son from my parents and off to have lunch at a friend's house. There did I learn that I had spent the entire day with my maternity pants on backwards. In my defense, there was a tag in the front and in the back and if you've ever seen maternity pants, everything is just for looks...there is no zipper, just spandex.
My son went down for his nap and after he woke up and started running around, I came to the realization that his were on backwards as well. We were a hot mess yesterday! Ok, moving along...
Over the past couple months, I have taken notes of scenarios that have happened to me and some are quite obvious that it was just politeness but in a world where politeness is now so scarce, are we mixing it for flirtation?
The first two scenarios happened with older men and I really feel they set the bar in terms of being polite, helpful and kind. Maybe it's because of an older generation and they were taught to be polite with everyone, but what about my generation? What the hell happened?
1) I was visiting a friend and on my way home my check oil light came on. Weird, I wasn't due for another oil change for at least a month and because I don't go anywhere, I wasn't at all near my kilometers. I pulled up to the local gas station and thankfully because I've had my fair share of beaters, checking oil is like second nature. Low and behold my car wasn't lying, she was almost run dry. I waddle my way into the store, grab some oil and on my way back a man approached me and asked if I needed help. I graciously thanked him but informed him I had it under control. He made small chat as I proceeded to add oil and I again thanked him for his offer and away I went. Here's the catch, there were two other men about my age whom didn't even blink and eye the minute I popped my hood. Maybe because they saw the other gentleman approach me or maybe because female independence is so high that, they don't offer anymore.
2) There was a steam engine show happening in the next town. I figured I have a son, boys like tractors, this would be a smash hit and I'd probably get some blogging material. What I didn't realize is most of these men were already dipping into their retirement plans. It was around lunch time and for some reason, the smell of burgers mixed with caramelized onions was just heavenly and baby # 2 was making it quite known that he wanted some and he wanted some now. Onward bound to the pavilion we go and after waiting for what seemed like forever for our food, it was time to find a place to sit however, every single picnic table was taken. I felt like Forrest Gump on his first bus ride with trying to find a spot to sit. Towards the end of the pavilion a couple of older gentlemen whom I would actually give my seat to, stood up and said "Ma'am, you and that tyke come sit here, we don't bite". So they all squished together and my son and I sat and chit chatted with them, thanked them and were on our way. Now, would that have happened if these gentlemen were my age? I'm going to go ahead and say probably not. These two scenarios were obviously the far right handed polite spectrum but the next two....well, you be the judge.
3) We all know what happened the last time I ran into "the crush". I was able to go down a path that I have never done and get his phone number. Ah, such a powerful moment and one that I am still quite proud of myself with. However what you don't know is well, crush doesn't like to respond to text messages. Twice I have invited him out to events, twice I've gotten no response. I could just be like any normal person and call him to see if I got a fake phone number but the mystery behind it all is kinda what keeps the suspense going...if there is any suspense. So, here in lies the issue, was he being polite by giving me A phone number or was he actually flirting and decided that a preggo isn't something he wants to deal with at the moment. I kinda wouldn't blame him for the second option there because lets be honest here, even I don't want to deal with me sometimes. So, the moral of the story here is, if you give a person of the opposite gender and who is single your phone number, are you being polite or are you being flirtatious?
4) I have a friend who wanted me to meet this REALLY nice guy and I had an opportunity to a couple weekends back. I was excited/nervous because well, it was kinda a blind date set up that he wasn't aware of which was kind of nice because that awkwardness wasn't going to be there. We were at a party and decided to play dodgeball in the pool...well kinda. Mostly it was just throwing a ball back and forth and aiming to splash people in the face...hey, who decided that was a great game to play ladies that were there? Anyways so I become said boy's partner and every time he'd get the ball he'd always hand it off to me if I didn't have one. Also at one point he made the comment that "I was his favourite partner" (there was another male in the pool before me playing) and I responded with an "oh really? *giggle*...God I'm gay. Anyways, we made small chit chat later that night, where I learned what he did for a living, he learned what I do but the party was dying down and it was time to go.
I facebook messaged him (I know, big no no in my books however, I didn't friend request him) the next day stating that it was nice to meet him and I had a lot of fun the night before. Facebook is a tattle tale and will tell you when people read messages and he read mine a minute later but never responded. Ok then. Almost exactly 24 hours later I got a simple reply of "yea I had fun too and it was nice to meet you"...the end.
What the hell gentlemen! See this is why we're such complicated creatures because well, we don't know when you're flirting or just being polite and I guess the same kinda goes for us women now that I think about it. Looking back at my horrible dates, I tried to be polite by letting men down easy, hoping they'd read between the lines that maybe they were taking my politeness as being hard to get (I'm looking at you Landon).
So in the end I guess if someone doesn't make it completely obvious anymore, we just don't know.
My son went down for his nap and after he woke up and started running around, I came to the realization that his were on backwards as well. We were a hot mess yesterday! Ok, moving along...
Over the past couple months, I have taken notes of scenarios that have happened to me and some are quite obvious that it was just politeness but in a world where politeness is now so scarce, are we mixing it for flirtation?
The first two scenarios happened with older men and I really feel they set the bar in terms of being polite, helpful and kind. Maybe it's because of an older generation and they were taught to be polite with everyone, but what about my generation? What the hell happened?
1) I was visiting a friend and on my way home my check oil light came on. Weird, I wasn't due for another oil change for at least a month and because I don't go anywhere, I wasn't at all near my kilometers. I pulled up to the local gas station and thankfully because I've had my fair share of beaters, checking oil is like second nature. Low and behold my car wasn't lying, she was almost run dry. I waddle my way into the store, grab some oil and on my way back a man approached me and asked if I needed help. I graciously thanked him but informed him I had it under control. He made small chat as I proceeded to add oil and I again thanked him for his offer and away I went. Here's the catch, there were two other men about my age whom didn't even blink and eye the minute I popped my hood. Maybe because they saw the other gentleman approach me or maybe because female independence is so high that, they don't offer anymore.
2) There was a steam engine show happening in the next town. I figured I have a son, boys like tractors, this would be a smash hit and I'd probably get some blogging material. What I didn't realize is most of these men were already dipping into their retirement plans. It was around lunch time and for some reason, the smell of burgers mixed with caramelized onions was just heavenly and baby # 2 was making it quite known that he wanted some and he wanted some now. Onward bound to the pavilion we go and after waiting for what seemed like forever for our food, it was time to find a place to sit however, every single picnic table was taken. I felt like Forrest Gump on his first bus ride with trying to find a spot to sit. Towards the end of the pavilion a couple of older gentlemen whom I would actually give my seat to, stood up and said "Ma'am, you and that tyke come sit here, we don't bite". So they all squished together and my son and I sat and chit chatted with them, thanked them and were on our way. Now, would that have happened if these gentlemen were my age? I'm going to go ahead and say probably not. These two scenarios were obviously the far right handed polite spectrum but the next two....well, you be the judge.
3) We all know what happened the last time I ran into "the crush". I was able to go down a path that I have never done and get his phone number. Ah, such a powerful moment and one that I am still quite proud of myself with. However what you don't know is well, crush doesn't like to respond to text messages. Twice I have invited him out to events, twice I've gotten no response. I could just be like any normal person and call him to see if I got a fake phone number but the mystery behind it all is kinda what keeps the suspense going...if there is any suspense. So, here in lies the issue, was he being polite by giving me A phone number or was he actually flirting and decided that a preggo isn't something he wants to deal with at the moment. I kinda wouldn't blame him for the second option there because lets be honest here, even I don't want to deal with me sometimes. So, the moral of the story here is, if you give a person of the opposite gender and who is single your phone number, are you being polite or are you being flirtatious?
4) I have a friend who wanted me to meet this REALLY nice guy and I had an opportunity to a couple weekends back. I was excited/nervous because well, it was kinda a blind date set up that he wasn't aware of which was kind of nice because that awkwardness wasn't going to be there. We were at a party and decided to play dodgeball in the pool...well kinda. Mostly it was just throwing a ball back and forth and aiming to splash people in the face...hey, who decided that was a great game to play ladies that were there? Anyways so I become said boy's partner and every time he'd get the ball he'd always hand it off to me if I didn't have one. Also at one point he made the comment that "I was his favourite partner" (there was another male in the pool before me playing) and I responded with an "oh really? *giggle*...God I'm gay. Anyways, we made small chit chat later that night, where I learned what he did for a living, he learned what I do but the party was dying down and it was time to go.
I facebook messaged him (I know, big no no in my books however, I didn't friend request him) the next day stating that it was nice to meet him and I had a lot of fun the night before. Facebook is a tattle tale and will tell you when people read messages and he read mine a minute later but never responded. Ok then. Almost exactly 24 hours later I got a simple reply of "yea I had fun too and it was nice to meet you"...the end.
What the hell gentlemen! See this is why we're such complicated creatures because well, we don't know when you're flirting or just being polite and I guess the same kinda goes for us women now that I think about it. Looking back at my horrible dates, I tried to be polite by letting men down easy, hoping they'd read between the lines that maybe they were taking my politeness as being hard to get (I'm looking at you Landon).
So in the end I guess if someone doesn't make it completely obvious anymore, we just don't know.
Thursday, September 5, 2013
The First
Well we're into the final weeks of my pregnancy and I've often thought of what I would write about next. I could continue into the "single mom of 2 and dating" phase but at the same time, what would set me apart from the others? Single mom of 2, trying to deal with school and work?...I think they made a show about that on MTV.
Maybe I'll become a food blogger, after my terrible review on a restaurant that just opened in my town. Maybe I'll be a coupon queen again (oh yes, extreme couponing was my hobby) or maybe I'll use this as my rant about life page. Who knows.
So this morning, I woke up and did the same thing I always do - check my phone. I would like to tell you it's for time purposes and 50% of the time it is, but I saw my little envelope icon lit. I opened it up and realized I had a new message from the dating site.
Que the "oh what now" response. Usually it's "your matches are now available!" or "Somebody sent you a wink!" or something of that nature. This time, it was "someone sent you a message".
Normally, the first thing I do is check out and read a profile first, if they have a picture - even better. I quickly press the link and to my surprise I know this person......he was my first boyfriend.
It was grade 10 and I was the humble age of 15. At this point of time in my life I was working for the local library and desperate for any boys attention. I won't even show you a pic but let me tell you, I wasn't the hottest girl in the grade and decided any boy would do. I was also apart of a local German folk dancing group (which by the way, I miss a lot. Yes we looked ridiculous in our costumes but hey, it was a great work out) and so was "Mark".
Mark went to the same highschool I did but was significantly older than I. I believe he was in grade 12 and for me to snatch up a senior as a first boyfriend was a plus one in my books. We'd hold hands through the halls, however school was about to end that year and summer was upon us. I pictured our summer was going to be another Grease movie in the works.
I didn't care about his looks, the fact that he liked me was gold enough. At one point I remember I went to his house, we were sitting on the couch and because of his extremely thin nature, it was uncomfortable to lean into him. That same day I also received my first kiss and because unfortunately he needed braces and never got them, the dreaded teeth bash happened. I'm painting a wonderful picture of him aren't I?
Him and his family went camping and because this was before caller ID, any time the phone would ring my family and I would answer and 9 times out of 10 it was him. However, at one point, I refused to answer the phone because well...we just talked 5 minutes prior. This happened the entire week...he'd call about once an hour saying how much he missed me and I believe towards the end, I unplugged the phone. This maddness had to end.
I can't really recall how I broke up with Mark but I believe it was still while he was on vacation. Our relationship lasted a whole 2 weeks and things became really awkward during dance - almost hostile. His sister and I got into my first and only fight at the highschool almost 6 months later about it.
Anyways back to today, whether or not he remembered who I was I'm not sure, he never said my name. After all that was 12 years ago (Oh my God I feel old). I did respond to his message with "well if it isn't my first boyfriend, how are you Mark" and we made small chat. I asked what he was doing with his life now a days and he responded that he was working in tool and dye and he asked how I was and if I had kids now. (Way to make it known that you didn't read my profile for I do state that I have kids). I told him the truth, I had a 3 year old and one in the oven. He responded with "that's cool" and that was the end of our conversation.
There's a study out there that states 60 - 80% of couples marry their highschool sweetheart. I had many boyfriends throughout highschool but Mark was definitely not considered my sweetheart. I don't plan on rekindling anything and am kinda relieved he ended the conversation how he did. I wish Mark all the luck in the world but he will still always be in my heart as my first boyfriend....and the first one to experience the crazy that is me.
Maybe I'll become a food blogger, after my terrible review on a restaurant that just opened in my town. Maybe I'll be a coupon queen again (oh yes, extreme couponing was my hobby) or maybe I'll use this as my rant about life page. Who knows.
So this morning, I woke up and did the same thing I always do - check my phone. I would like to tell you it's for time purposes and 50% of the time it is, but I saw my little envelope icon lit. I opened it up and realized I had a new message from the dating site.
Que the "oh what now" response. Usually it's "your matches are now available!" or "Somebody sent you a wink!" or something of that nature. This time, it was "someone sent you a message".
Normally, the first thing I do is check out and read a profile first, if they have a picture - even better. I quickly press the link and to my surprise I know this person......he was my first boyfriend.
It was grade 10 and I was the humble age of 15. At this point of time in my life I was working for the local library and desperate for any boys attention. I won't even show you a pic but let me tell you, I wasn't the hottest girl in the grade and decided any boy would do. I was also apart of a local German folk dancing group (which by the way, I miss a lot. Yes we looked ridiculous in our costumes but hey, it was a great work out) and so was "Mark".
Mark went to the same highschool I did but was significantly older than I. I believe he was in grade 12 and for me to snatch up a senior as a first boyfriend was a plus one in my books. We'd hold hands through the halls, however school was about to end that year and summer was upon us. I pictured our summer was going to be another Grease movie in the works.
I didn't care about his looks, the fact that he liked me was gold enough. At one point I remember I went to his house, we were sitting on the couch and because of his extremely thin nature, it was uncomfortable to lean into him. That same day I also received my first kiss and because unfortunately he needed braces and never got them, the dreaded teeth bash happened. I'm painting a wonderful picture of him aren't I?
Him and his family went camping and because this was before caller ID, any time the phone would ring my family and I would answer and 9 times out of 10 it was him. However, at one point, I refused to answer the phone because well...we just talked 5 minutes prior. This happened the entire week...he'd call about once an hour saying how much he missed me and I believe towards the end, I unplugged the phone. This maddness had to end.
I can't really recall how I broke up with Mark but I believe it was still while he was on vacation. Our relationship lasted a whole 2 weeks and things became really awkward during dance - almost hostile. His sister and I got into my first and only fight at the highschool almost 6 months later about it.
Anyways back to today, whether or not he remembered who I was I'm not sure, he never said my name. After all that was 12 years ago (Oh my God I feel old). I did respond to his message with "well if it isn't my first boyfriend, how are you Mark" and we made small chat. I asked what he was doing with his life now a days and he responded that he was working in tool and dye and he asked how I was and if I had kids now. (Way to make it known that you didn't read my profile for I do state that I have kids). I told him the truth, I had a 3 year old and one in the oven. He responded with "that's cool" and that was the end of our conversation.
There's a study out there that states 60 - 80% of couples marry their highschool sweetheart. I had many boyfriends throughout highschool but Mark was definitely not considered my sweetheart. I don't plan on rekindling anything and am kinda relieved he ended the conversation how he did. I wish Mark all the luck in the world but he will still always be in my heart as my first boyfriend....and the first one to experience the crazy that is me.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
The Deal Breaker
Over the last month, I've only logged into my dating profile a couple times here and there. I find I get the same guys messaging me over and over and not to mention, ex-husbands of people I used to go to highschool with. That was awkward. But on one occasion, I had received this new message from a guy we'll call "Dave"
Now, because I live so close to the United States, the dating site likes to show me matches in Michigan. I usually ignore most of them but Dave caught my interest. He was wow, just a great looking guy, his profile seemed decent and the city he lived in was only 20 minutes away. Hmm, alright let's talk.
Dave clearly never read my profile and I'll get to that in just one second. We started texting that night and the next morning, I really started contemplating dating an American. I really have nothing against them, but to me, it was asking for a whole wack load of issues. However, at the same time, it would be more of a challenge to see each other, and you wouldn't run the risk of over exposure. We could spend the day together here and there when my child wasn't home and I didn't have to worry about him showing up at my door step unexpectedly.
Back to him not reading my profile. Dave didn't realize I was Canadian considering he was asking me where the nearest Target was. I'm not even sure he looked at my pictures since he asked me to describe my looks He made the comment of "well I suppose I should start applying for my passport" and I was kinda taken aback. Yea I suppose you could, but that means you'd be seeing me not on my terms and in a way, that scared me. I learned Dave was originally from Chicago, had two almost teenagers that still lived there with their mother. Perfect! The fact that I won't be dealing with baby mama drama almost seemed to good to be true.
We shared a lot of the same goals in life, he wanted to eventually own a farm (all I want is a horse) and just retire somewhere in the country side. We shared the same taste in music and everything was going honky dory. I was really amping up to meet this guy until...
At one point, Dave revealed to me he was a "redneck". Ok, I asked him to elaborate, what did he consider being a redneck? I can tell you my version is someone who could apply and be cast on honey boo boo and duck dynasty and uses duct tape to fix anything. As long as you wear deodorant and shower once a day, being a redneck isn't that bothersome. What I wasn't expecting, was him revealing that he was a white supremacist.
I kid you not. I will PG 13 his comments: "I don't like seeing a white woman with a black man"...I'm censoring that folks. I apparently live in the 21st century and do not care or mind that mixed races or same genders combine. Really, it's none of my business and whatever makes people happy...go for it. But my visions of my farm with Shinedown blaring in the background came to a crashing halt. I have many family members whom have married interracial and clearly, Dave would have to stay away if I didn't want to have to post bail. No deal.
I kinda went off the handle with him and that comment and he quickly shut his mouth. Eventually our messages became less and less. I'm cordial with him, but I have no desire to keep day dreaming about how and when we'll meet. Being an almost KKK member, is a giant deal breaker.
Now, because I live so close to the United States, the dating site likes to show me matches in Michigan. I usually ignore most of them but Dave caught my interest. He was wow, just a great looking guy, his profile seemed decent and the city he lived in was only 20 minutes away. Hmm, alright let's talk.
Dave clearly never read my profile and I'll get to that in just one second. We started texting that night and the next morning, I really started contemplating dating an American. I really have nothing against them, but to me, it was asking for a whole wack load of issues. However, at the same time, it would be more of a challenge to see each other, and you wouldn't run the risk of over exposure. We could spend the day together here and there when my child wasn't home and I didn't have to worry about him showing up at my door step unexpectedly.
Back to him not reading my profile. Dave didn't realize I was Canadian considering he was asking me where the nearest Target was. I'm not even sure he looked at my pictures since he asked me to describe my looks He made the comment of "well I suppose I should start applying for my passport" and I was kinda taken aback. Yea I suppose you could, but that means you'd be seeing me not on my terms and in a way, that scared me. I learned Dave was originally from Chicago, had two almost teenagers that still lived there with their mother. Perfect! The fact that I won't be dealing with baby mama drama almost seemed to good to be true.
We shared a lot of the same goals in life, he wanted to eventually own a farm (all I want is a horse) and just retire somewhere in the country side. We shared the same taste in music and everything was going honky dory. I was really amping up to meet this guy until...
At one point, Dave revealed to me he was a "redneck". Ok, I asked him to elaborate, what did he consider being a redneck? I can tell you my version is someone who could apply and be cast on honey boo boo and duck dynasty and uses duct tape to fix anything. As long as you wear deodorant and shower once a day, being a redneck isn't that bothersome. What I wasn't expecting, was him revealing that he was a white supremacist.
I kid you not. I will PG 13 his comments: "I don't like seeing a white woman with a black man"...I'm censoring that folks. I apparently live in the 21st century and do not care or mind that mixed races or same genders combine. Really, it's none of my business and whatever makes people happy...go for it. But my visions of my farm with Shinedown blaring in the background came to a crashing halt. I have many family members whom have married interracial and clearly, Dave would have to stay away if I didn't want to have to post bail. No deal.
I kinda went off the handle with him and that comment and he quickly shut his mouth. Eventually our messages became less and less. I'm cordial with him, but I have no desire to keep day dreaming about how and when we'll meet. Being an almost KKK member, is a giant deal breaker.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Plus One
So today started out like any other day - tried to get my kid to take a pee on the potty, had my morning coffee, and called my mother to confirm plans of my son's birthday, which is tomorrow. We were planning to get together to bake his cake when Pic messaged me about how aweful her morning was going. I offered to get her out of the house and have our kids play together. What I didn't know was, I was going to do something today that I've never done before.
My mother and I made our grocery lists and go and grab Pic. I always seem to run into "The Crush" at the grocery store so because I had greasy hair and hairy legs, I asked to make one pit stop at my house. I put up my hair and threw on some jeans and off we went and I'm glad we did.
Last weekend, I had a bonfire at my house. I decided I needed to be more social and invite some neighbours that I never really talked to. I met one of them at the grocery store and told her to come out, and jokingly said 'bring the crush with you'. Unfortunately she didn't come out but I always wondered if she told the crush about it.
At the grocery store, my mother and I go our separate ways and Pic tags along with me. There he was, right in front of the canned food department. I quickly hide behind the bread and rehearse my lines. Today was the day, I was going to ask him for his phone number. Casually and face as red as a tomato with Pic in tow, I walked up. Here's the conversation:
Me: Hey stranger! Where were you Saturday?
Crush: Hey Kel, what happened Saturday?
M: I had a bonfire and I told (neighbour) to invite you
C: Oh I had no idea, I totally would've went too
M: Well how does one get ahold of you now a days?
C: Usually by text
M: Ok well give me your number and I'll text you next time I have one
(quickly shuffles through purse... awkward silence, one of his friends walks up)
M: ok go
C: *gives number*
M: ok....well.....talk to you later!
I ran out of there as fast as I could and into an aisle on the other side of the store. Pic caught up and we run into my mother. I refused to even look in his direction when Pic points out that he keeps pointing to us with his friend. Even at the check out counter we get spotted, and when he was going outside, he kept looking in our direction in the parking lot. I really wanted to die. Did I really JUST DO THAT?!
I joked with Pic that she is my alcohol for normally, I probably would never have done that. We chatted all the way home, reliving the conversation and both Pic and my mother reveal they've never asked for a guy's number. I joked that I channeled my inner Samantha from SATC and am up plus one on them.
Normally I would end my blog post there but with Pic the adventure never ends. I was sitting outside my parents house when my phone rang. I wish I could tell you that it was the crush but he doesn't have my phone number. Instead it was my children's father and I was screening his call when Pic grabbed my phone and I thought innocently, she was reading any text messages he was sending. Oh HO no no, she was texting the crush. I wanted to play by the rules with this number, and message him like I said I would, at my next fire. She sent:
"Hey this is Kelly! Just wanted to send you a text so you have my number"
Fucking shoot me.
He never responded, thank God and Pic says I'll thank her later....I'm still waiting for later. If I've learned anything from today....Don't leave your phone unattended.
My mother and I made our grocery lists and go and grab Pic. I always seem to run into "The Crush" at the grocery store so because I had greasy hair and hairy legs, I asked to make one pit stop at my house. I put up my hair and threw on some jeans and off we went and I'm glad we did.
Last weekend, I had a bonfire at my house. I decided I needed to be more social and invite some neighbours that I never really talked to. I met one of them at the grocery store and told her to come out, and jokingly said 'bring the crush with you'. Unfortunately she didn't come out but I always wondered if she told the crush about it.
At the grocery store, my mother and I go our separate ways and Pic tags along with me. There he was, right in front of the canned food department. I quickly hide behind the bread and rehearse my lines. Today was the day, I was going to ask him for his phone number. Casually and face as red as a tomato with Pic in tow, I walked up. Here's the conversation:
Me: Hey stranger! Where were you Saturday?
Crush: Hey Kel, what happened Saturday?
M: I had a bonfire and I told (neighbour) to invite you
C: Oh I had no idea, I totally would've went too
M: Well how does one get ahold of you now a days?
C: Usually by text
M: Ok well give me your number and I'll text you next time I have one
(quickly shuffles through purse... awkward silence, one of his friends walks up)
M: ok go
C: *gives number*
M: ok....well.....talk to you later!
I ran out of there as fast as I could and into an aisle on the other side of the store. Pic caught up and we run into my mother. I refused to even look in his direction when Pic points out that he keeps pointing to us with his friend. Even at the check out counter we get spotted, and when he was going outside, he kept looking in our direction in the parking lot. I really wanted to die. Did I really JUST DO THAT?!
I joked with Pic that she is my alcohol for normally, I probably would never have done that. We chatted all the way home, reliving the conversation and both Pic and my mother reveal they've never asked for a guy's number. I joked that I channeled my inner Samantha from SATC and am up plus one on them.
Normally I would end my blog post there but with Pic the adventure never ends. I was sitting outside my parents house when my phone rang. I wish I could tell you that it was the crush but he doesn't have my phone number. Instead it was my children's father and I was screening his call when Pic grabbed my phone and I thought innocently, she was reading any text messages he was sending. Oh HO no no, she was texting the crush. I wanted to play by the rules with this number, and message him like I said I would, at my next fire. She sent:
"Hey this is Kelly! Just wanted to send you a text so you have my number"
Fucking shoot me.
He never responded, thank God and Pic says I'll thank her later....I'm still waiting for later. If I've learned anything from today....Don't leave your phone unattended.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
The Pick-Up Games
Last weekend, my partner in crime, (we're going to start calling her "Pic") messaged me about a baseball tournament happening in a different town. She had watched some mutual friends play the day before and informed me that it was crawling with men, in baseball uniforms, and most of them were "eleven's" (inside joke from our escapade with the 'social experiment')
I had two choices to make here:
1) Sit at home by myself (child was gone for the day) and do the responsible thing and clean my house, do laundry, read a book... OR
2) Say "WHEN AND WHERE?!"
You can probably guess my answer....
I'm an avid "Sex and the City" watcher (can you tell?). I prefer to think I'm all 4 girls mixed into one. Carrie's writing skills and bad dating judgements, mixed with Miranda's "no bullshit" attitude, with a side of Charolette's innocent thinking and hoping for the best, and a dash of Sam's hormones.
In one episode in particular, Carrie and Charolette decide to go for lunch. During this lunch, they decide to rate the men walking down the street. 2 categories: Yes they would sleep with them, No they wouldn't. Pic and I decided to take a page out of this game and use it at our baseball tournament. (We were only rating men who looked our age. Sorry grandpa, youuuuuuu're out! ahem.)
I quickly throw on a sundress, match it up with a cute necklace and flip flops and we're off! We get to the tournament, find a great parking spot and it looks like it's just starting. We get out of the car and realize...there is A LOT of men here with dogs. One of our future experiments is to bring my dogs to the dog park and see how many numbers we get. Let's start this experiment early! Back in the car we go and head off to my house to grab my pooches. Problem is, my town is not very close and I'm running low on gas. (Seems to be a recurring issue in my dating adventures).
We get to the house, grab the dogs quickly, stop and get gas, and we're off! Again! We might have burnt an hour during this side trip so by the time we got back to the tournament, things have dwindled down. Damn. We sit in the beer tent and with our note pads and pooches and start our ratings, however we added an extra category in this one: If I was drunk. Sometimes, someone isn't THAT bad looking but with a little liquid courage, things can happen.
If there's one thing I've learned out of this, I need prescription sunglasses. I have horrible distance vision and I'm sure all these men would've looked like 10's if I didn't have my glasses on. However, a couple times I was caught doing my "ratings" based on eye contact. If I had sunglasses on, I could stare all I want and they wouldn't know the difference!
Another thing we've learned is we need to make up "press badges". It became quite clear in the first hour that we weren't there to cheer anyone on. The only time we got questioned on our motives was when a couple women stopped to ask us about the dogs. During a move to a different diamond, I was starting to get sore and drove the car with my female dog while Pic decided to walk with my male. Because this was a giant tail-gating party, most of the guys had some liquid courage in them and were talking quite loud. During Pic's walk she hears some guys in the bleachers say "Hey there's one of the girls with the dogs" "Yea man, there's another girl here with one too". To this time, we're not quite sure how to take these remarks. Did we make a name for ourselves being "the girls with the dogs" or were they just making an observation? Yes, I over think this stuff.
We still had a couple hours to kill before my child returned home so we decided to go out for dinner and try to get our ratings out of 100. We go to the city (which, on the way there, we passed by "The Crush" walking down the road in my town. I waved, he waved, Pic got caught with her mouth gaping open in amazement) and decide to find the MOST crowded patio on the planet. I won't start with how long our food took, that'll keep you here all night but I will tell you that after doing some research, apparently Sunday was the last day of our city's gay pride celebration and hence the massive amounts of people.
In conclusion, I will give you my results. We didn't make it to 100, and my dogs didn't score me any numbers but, I am now known as "the girl with the dog".
Yes I would sleep with them: 24
No, not in a million years: 56
If I was drunk: 17
Grand total: 97. Pretty darn close!
I had two choices to make here:
1) Sit at home by myself (child was gone for the day) and do the responsible thing and clean my house, do laundry, read a book... OR
2) Say "WHEN AND WHERE?!"
You can probably guess my answer....
I'm an avid "Sex and the City" watcher (can you tell?). I prefer to think I'm all 4 girls mixed into one. Carrie's writing skills and bad dating judgements, mixed with Miranda's "no bullshit" attitude, with a side of Charolette's innocent thinking and hoping for the best, and a dash of Sam's hormones.
In one episode in particular, Carrie and Charolette decide to go for lunch. During this lunch, they decide to rate the men walking down the street. 2 categories: Yes they would sleep with them, No they wouldn't. Pic and I decided to take a page out of this game and use it at our baseball tournament. (We were only rating men who looked our age. Sorry grandpa, youuuuuuu're out! ahem.)
I quickly throw on a sundress, match it up with a cute necklace and flip flops and we're off! We get to the tournament, find a great parking spot and it looks like it's just starting. We get out of the car and realize...there is A LOT of men here with dogs. One of our future experiments is to bring my dogs to the dog park and see how many numbers we get. Let's start this experiment early! Back in the car we go and head off to my house to grab my pooches. Problem is, my town is not very close and I'm running low on gas. (Seems to be a recurring issue in my dating adventures).
We get to the house, grab the dogs quickly, stop and get gas, and we're off! Again! We might have burnt an hour during this side trip so by the time we got back to the tournament, things have dwindled down. Damn. We sit in the beer tent and with our note pads and pooches and start our ratings, however we added an extra category in this one: If I was drunk. Sometimes, someone isn't THAT bad looking but with a little liquid courage, things can happen.
If there's one thing I've learned out of this, I need prescription sunglasses. I have horrible distance vision and I'm sure all these men would've looked like 10's if I didn't have my glasses on. However, a couple times I was caught doing my "ratings" based on eye contact. If I had sunglasses on, I could stare all I want and they wouldn't know the difference!
Another thing we've learned is we need to make up "press badges". It became quite clear in the first hour that we weren't there to cheer anyone on. The only time we got questioned on our motives was when a couple women stopped to ask us about the dogs. During a move to a different diamond, I was starting to get sore and drove the car with my female dog while Pic decided to walk with my male. Because this was a giant tail-gating party, most of the guys had some liquid courage in them and were talking quite loud. During Pic's walk she hears some guys in the bleachers say "Hey there's one of the girls with the dogs" "Yea man, there's another girl here with one too". To this time, we're not quite sure how to take these remarks. Did we make a name for ourselves being "the girls with the dogs" or were they just making an observation? Yes, I over think this stuff.
We still had a couple hours to kill before my child returned home so we decided to go out for dinner and try to get our ratings out of 100. We go to the city (which, on the way there, we passed by "The Crush" walking down the road in my town. I waved, he waved, Pic got caught with her mouth gaping open in amazement) and decide to find the MOST crowded patio on the planet. I won't start with how long our food took, that'll keep you here all night but I will tell you that after doing some research, apparently Sunday was the last day of our city's gay pride celebration and hence the massive amounts of people.
In conclusion, I will give you my results. We didn't make it to 100, and my dogs didn't score me any numbers but, I am now known as "the girl with the dog".
Yes I would sleep with them: 24
No, not in a million years: 56
If I was drunk: 17
Grand total: 97. Pretty darn close!
Friday, August 9, 2013
The Respect Factor.
Dating someone with kids isn't easy and some choose to not date people with kids. I'm fine with that, no judgement here. Some even with kids refuse to date others with kids - conjoined families are nothing to play around with and there has to be a full commitment to doing so. Some make it work, some can't and the kids end up paying the price.
However, I feel as if we're missing some key elements here. The other parent - and the respect that's what they are. At one point in time, your new boyfriend/girlfriend did possibly love someone else to start a family with them, a new child was brought into the world and whether you like it or not, they will be around for the rest of that child's life. They're going to have to speak with that parent, see them, and co-parent for more than just 18 years. (I'm basing this all off that the other parent wants to be in the child's life)
Over the past week, I've been dealt a full deck of cards. I thought I was handling it quite well. I have an amazing support system and they've all been by my side. Being pregnant and I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure my hormones however have made my problems seem more exuberant than they actually are. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. However, during the last couple days this week - something has come up that really, just throws salt on the wounds.
I try not to talk to my ex unless it involves our kid (s). Our lawyers are dealing with anything legal and we are trying to co-parent to the best of our ability. The reason why I date occasionally and say no to potential relationships is because I know I'm not ready - I have many wounds that need to heal properly, no bandaids here. I don't want to know, or care what's going in his life. My children are my main focus with him and who he brings these kids around.
This next paragraph is how * I FEEL* this situation SHOULD be treated.
You meet a new person, they have kids. You're in the puppy love stage and just want to spend as much time as you can with the person. You go on dates, picture yourselves together forever and this person is just perrrfect. However, you know and I know that this is just a stage and it'll pass and that's why I didn't mention bringing kids to meet this other person. I'm a firm believer in the 6 month rule. In 6 months you should know whether or not you want to continue seeing this person and you should know by then, their ins and outs. After 6 months, pending on the children's ages, you slowly start to integrate the family together. Have dinner here and there, maybe a family outing, but no sleep overs.
As the other parent, you should be in the know. Talk it over with the other parent...after all, this is their child too and guess what, kids talk. If you don't tell them, the kids will and that's just drama you don't need. As the new g/f/b/f here's my advice to you:
- Respect any boundaries put into place by the co-parent
- Respect any routines
- Realize you're not the new mother/father
- Have fun building a relationship
DO NOT do this:
- Bad talk the other co-parent when children are around
- Message/talk to co-parent when asked not to
- View co-parent as a giant threat
- Stir drama within the relationship of the two parents
- Message/talk to co-parent under the disguise of the other parent.
If you know me, the "do not's" look pretty familiar don't they?
I don't know, call me crazy but I just don't get it. When I get into another relationship and if there is kids involved, I KNOW I would be staying far away from that woman as possible. If we could get along, that's great but if not, I also know that she is still the mother and I need to respect that.
Until next time.
However, I feel as if we're missing some key elements here. The other parent - and the respect that's what they are. At one point in time, your new boyfriend/girlfriend did possibly love someone else to start a family with them, a new child was brought into the world and whether you like it or not, they will be around for the rest of that child's life. They're going to have to speak with that parent, see them, and co-parent for more than just 18 years. (I'm basing this all off that the other parent wants to be in the child's life)
Over the past week, I've been dealt a full deck of cards. I thought I was handling it quite well. I have an amazing support system and they've all been by my side. Being pregnant and I'm not a doctor, but I'm pretty sure my hormones however have made my problems seem more exuberant than they actually are. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. However, during the last couple days this week - something has come up that really, just throws salt on the wounds.
I try not to talk to my ex unless it involves our kid (s). Our lawyers are dealing with anything legal and we are trying to co-parent to the best of our ability. The reason why I date occasionally and say no to potential relationships is because I know I'm not ready - I have many wounds that need to heal properly, no bandaids here. I don't want to know, or care what's going in his life. My children are my main focus with him and who he brings these kids around.
This next paragraph is how * I FEEL* this situation SHOULD be treated.
You meet a new person, they have kids. You're in the puppy love stage and just want to spend as much time as you can with the person. You go on dates, picture yourselves together forever and this person is just perrrfect. However, you know and I know that this is just a stage and it'll pass and that's why I didn't mention bringing kids to meet this other person. I'm a firm believer in the 6 month rule. In 6 months you should know whether or not you want to continue seeing this person and you should know by then, their ins and outs. After 6 months, pending on the children's ages, you slowly start to integrate the family together. Have dinner here and there, maybe a family outing, but no sleep overs.
As the other parent, you should be in the know. Talk it over with the other parent...after all, this is their child too and guess what, kids talk. If you don't tell them, the kids will and that's just drama you don't need. As the new g/f/b/f here's my advice to you:
- Respect any boundaries put into place by the co-parent
- Respect any routines
- Realize you're not the new mother/father
- Have fun building a relationship
DO NOT do this:
- Bad talk the other co-parent when children are around
- Message/talk to co-parent when asked not to
- View co-parent as a giant threat
- Stir drama within the relationship of the two parents
- Message/talk to co-parent under the disguise of the other parent.
If you know me, the "do not's" look pretty familiar don't they?
I don't know, call me crazy but I just don't get it. When I get into another relationship and if there is kids involved, I KNOW I would be staying far away from that woman as possible. If we could get along, that's great but if not, I also know that she is still the mother and I need to respect that.
Until next time.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
The Social Experiment
Over the past couple of weeks, my partner in crime and I decided to really give up on dating. She was having issues with a guy who in one second, wanted her to meet all his family and the next second, giving all the signs that 'he's just not that into you'. Cancelling dates, not returning calls, and they call us the crazy ones?
Anyways, we decided to make a 'single's page', where we could meet other singles and just have a single grand ol' time. What we didn't realize is how much the page was going to be a hit....with the cougars.
Within 2 weeks, the page was almost up to 60 people and we were going to have our first event. You know my love for sushi and my love for meeting new people so, I was hoping others hopped on board as well. With about a 40/20 ratio of women to men, it seemed like this was going to be a smash hit.
If only it was...
With my little black dress on, matching leopard print shoes and bag, make-up all done up, I was off, ready to socialize with strangers of all ages, genders, backgrounds; share break-up stories and eat all the sushi I could shove in my mouth.
I meet up with my friend, who also brought along one of her friends, so that makes 3 of us girls. We get our name tags put together and sit and play the waiting game..order food...and wait some more and take a whole bunch of pictures....and wait some more. We start wishing this restaurant had a patio so we could rate men on the street and hopefully, draw more candidates in the group.
Well you can kinda see where this is going. Not one soul out of almost 60 showed up! So I got to wondering, if so many people like this idea....why are they just settling on the idea instead of the concept of actually socializing?
I'm learning in a psychology book right now that people find safety in numbers. You get the oddball like me who doesn't mind going out alone but I would so rather go with someone else. We pushed for our followers to bring friends but, it didn't make the cut. I guess thinking about it, it's rather odd to go a restaurant to sit at a table with maybe one person you know, but at a table of people you don't know. Kinda sounds like arranged seating at a wedding...the more cocktails you get in, the more apt you are to care about the people around you, if not, dig in..wait for the DJ and dance the night away.
We decided to end the night at a local pub and rate the men there...unfortunately again, it was a Tuesday night so, that didn't work out. Either way, it was still a nice time hanging out with the girls...and still sharing break up stories, learning about my friend's giant turn off when it comes to men and little dogs, and because we're all moms...talking about our kids.
We're thinking about making our next event at a winery.......hopefully wine will make people come out!
Anyways, we decided to make a 'single's page', where we could meet other singles and just have a single grand ol' time. What we didn't realize is how much the page was going to be a hit....with the cougars.
Within 2 weeks, the page was almost up to 60 people and we were going to have our first event. You know my love for sushi and my love for meeting new people so, I was hoping others hopped on board as well. With about a 40/20 ratio of women to men, it seemed like this was going to be a smash hit.
If only it was...
With my little black dress on, matching leopard print shoes and bag, make-up all done up, I was off, ready to socialize with strangers of all ages, genders, backgrounds; share break-up stories and eat all the sushi I could shove in my mouth.
I meet up with my friend, who also brought along one of her friends, so that makes 3 of us girls. We get our name tags put together and sit and play the waiting game..order food...and wait some more and take a whole bunch of pictures....and wait some more. We start wishing this restaurant had a patio so we could rate men on the street and hopefully, draw more candidates in the group.
Well you can kinda see where this is going. Not one soul out of almost 60 showed up! So I got to wondering, if so many people like this idea....why are they just settling on the idea instead of the concept of actually socializing?
I'm learning in a psychology book right now that people find safety in numbers. You get the oddball like me who doesn't mind going out alone but I would so rather go with someone else. We pushed for our followers to bring friends but, it didn't make the cut. I guess thinking about it, it's rather odd to go a restaurant to sit at a table with maybe one person you know, but at a table of people you don't know. Kinda sounds like arranged seating at a wedding...the more cocktails you get in, the more apt you are to care about the people around you, if not, dig in..wait for the DJ and dance the night away.
We decided to end the night at a local pub and rate the men there...unfortunately again, it was a Tuesday night so, that didn't work out. Either way, it was still a nice time hanging out with the girls...and still sharing break up stories, learning about my friend's giant turn off when it comes to men and little dogs, and because we're all moms...talking about our kids.
We're thinking about making our next event at a winery.......hopefully wine will make people come out!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
My Thoughts: The Voice
I'm going to start this post off by saying, holy cow time is flying. I went to get my oil changed today and after when I went into my day planner to write down my next change, I realized my second son will have been born. That is scarey stuff!
I quite enjoy writing this blog and even though my date track record is at a low, I'm ok with it. Today I went out and bought a little notepad for in my purse. I come up with ideas all the time and in 7 days, I completely forget about what they were. Even today I got some interviewing done with a couple girlfriends on a subject that will be eventually touched upon. I want more women's input on the topic so, don't be surprised if I walk up to you, notepad in hand, and ask your opinion.
Also, on Tuesday, I will be conducting a social experiment of sorts, and I'm definitely looking forward to that. So, all in all, I want to thank everyone for giving me subjects to write about! Moving along...
Over this past week, I've been looking to rent something for my son. I hate talking on the phone...HATE it. I hate calling, asking prices, and then quickly hanging up before they can loop me in. After speaking to some who's accents are indistinguishable, to almost falling over in my chair to prices, I called up my last company.
A male answers the phone and honestly, I have no idea what he said, I was too caught up just listening to him speak. From what I could tell, I would pin his age at 25 - 35, and his voice was very smooth. I could listen to him talk all day. He wasn't sure if what I needed was in stock and would call me back in a couple days. Awesome!
I found myself logging straight into facebook, google, the company's website, ANYTHING to find out what this guy looked like. In my mind he couldn't possibly be ugly with a voice like that. I had a vision, and I wanted to know if it was accurate.
Unfortunately, my searches failed. Even with over 100 + photo's on the company's website, there were NONE of any people, just their products. Today I received my dream-bo's call and again, unfortunately what I needed is being rented out that day, so... you will stay in my mind as my Ken barbie doll. I do have to give him credit for calling me back with the bad news instead of leaving me hanging.
Back in 2004, I dated this guy named Jimmy. Now, many people have heard my break-up story with Jimmy and that's all they remember of him, however not many remember his voice or even what he looked like.
Jimmy was a tall and very slender guy. He had his own apartment, and was a HUGE clean freak. He had a key to my apartment and I remember coming home once, seeing his car there, walking in and there's Jimmy on his hands and knees scrubbing my floor with a brush. He insisted they weren't white enough and if you know me, cleanliness is never on my top priority list.
In Jimmy's apartment, everything matched. I'm doing good if I can find socks that match. His curtains matched his bedspread, he had potpourri in the bathroom, and we even got into a fight once because God forbid, I walked on his newly shampooed carpet. Needless to say, Jimmy and I didn't last long but what I want to touch base on, was his voice. Jimmy had a higher voice for a male and I remember I hated it. shh baby don't talk...just listen...always.
Voices are a peculiar thing, they're one of the most distinguishable attributes on a person. Go ahead and pick up the phone right now and call your grandma. Chances are, she probably doesn't have caller-ID so that's why I'm picking her. If you're close to her and talk to her often, she'll know exactly who's on that other line. (Unless grandma has amnesia then go ahead and pick someone else)
Testosterone is one of the key elements that makes a male's voice low, it also is involved with body hair. The more you have, the chances are your voice will lower and you'll grow facial hair. That's why when women decide to become men, they take testosterone injections. The same goes for our estrogen, it'll make your voice higher and you'll start to grow....womanly attributes.
I think women have it in their mind (I know I do) that the more testosterone a man has, the manlier he is. The manlier he is, the more likely that he'll want to settle down eventually and have his legacy continue on...aka kids. I guess maybe it all goes back to caveman days and the same goes for men. Women that tend to have a higher voice and bigger cleavage seem to get all the boys to the yard. Of course, there's always the exception.
I'll end tonight with the conclusion of Jimmy and I's break-up. After 3 weeks, Jimmy pulled out the love card and I found I couldn't say it back and it hurt him. I knew we weren't compatible at all and had to let the boy down. In the parking lot of his apartment, I told him it wasn't going to work and things had to end. Jimmy started crying..hard. I did the next best thing I could think of......run. I jumped into my truck and started pulling away. In the rear view mirror I could see Jimmy running after my truck, in the middle of street, crying while chasing.
The last time I spoke to Jimmy which was....probably two years later, he was married and was trying for children. Good for you Jimmy!
I quite enjoy writing this blog and even though my date track record is at a low, I'm ok with it. Today I went out and bought a little notepad for in my purse. I come up with ideas all the time and in 7 days, I completely forget about what they were. Even today I got some interviewing done with a couple girlfriends on a subject that will be eventually touched upon. I want more women's input on the topic so, don't be surprised if I walk up to you, notepad in hand, and ask your opinion.
Also, on Tuesday, I will be conducting a social experiment of sorts, and I'm definitely looking forward to that. So, all in all, I want to thank everyone for giving me subjects to write about! Moving along...
Over this past week, I've been looking to rent something for my son. I hate talking on the phone...HATE it. I hate calling, asking prices, and then quickly hanging up before they can loop me in. After speaking to some who's accents are indistinguishable, to almost falling over in my chair to prices, I called up my last company.
A male answers the phone and honestly, I have no idea what he said, I was too caught up just listening to him speak. From what I could tell, I would pin his age at 25 - 35, and his voice was very smooth. I could listen to him talk all day. He wasn't sure if what I needed was in stock and would call me back in a couple days. Awesome!
I found myself logging straight into facebook, google, the company's website, ANYTHING to find out what this guy looked like. In my mind he couldn't possibly be ugly with a voice like that. I had a vision, and I wanted to know if it was accurate.
Unfortunately, my searches failed. Even with over 100 + photo's on the company's website, there were NONE of any people, just their products. Today I received my dream-bo's call and again, unfortunately what I needed is being rented out that day, so... you will stay in my mind as my Ken barbie doll. I do have to give him credit for calling me back with the bad news instead of leaving me hanging.
Back in 2004, I dated this guy named Jimmy. Now, many people have heard my break-up story with Jimmy and that's all they remember of him, however not many remember his voice or even what he looked like.
Jimmy was a tall and very slender guy. He had his own apartment, and was a HUGE clean freak. He had a key to my apartment and I remember coming home once, seeing his car there, walking in and there's Jimmy on his hands and knees scrubbing my floor with a brush. He insisted they weren't white enough and if you know me, cleanliness is never on my top priority list.
In Jimmy's apartment, everything matched. I'm doing good if I can find socks that match. His curtains matched his bedspread, he had potpourri in the bathroom, and we even got into a fight once because God forbid, I walked on his newly shampooed carpet. Needless to say, Jimmy and I didn't last long but what I want to touch base on, was his voice. Jimmy had a higher voice for a male and I remember I hated it. shh baby don't talk...just listen...always.
Voices are a peculiar thing, they're one of the most distinguishable attributes on a person. Go ahead and pick up the phone right now and call your grandma. Chances are, she probably doesn't have caller-ID so that's why I'm picking her. If you're close to her and talk to her often, she'll know exactly who's on that other line. (Unless grandma has amnesia then go ahead and pick someone else)
Testosterone is one of the key elements that makes a male's voice low, it also is involved with body hair. The more you have, the chances are your voice will lower and you'll grow facial hair. That's why when women decide to become men, they take testosterone injections. The same goes for our estrogen, it'll make your voice higher and you'll start to grow....womanly attributes.
I think women have it in their mind (I know I do) that the more testosterone a man has, the manlier he is. The manlier he is, the more likely that he'll want to settle down eventually and have his legacy continue on...aka kids. I guess maybe it all goes back to caveman days and the same goes for men. Women that tend to have a higher voice and bigger cleavage seem to get all the boys to the yard. Of course, there's always the exception.
I'll end tonight with the conclusion of Jimmy and I's break-up. After 3 weeks, Jimmy pulled out the love card and I found I couldn't say it back and it hurt him. I knew we weren't compatible at all and had to let the boy down. In the parking lot of his apartment, I told him it wasn't going to work and things had to end. Jimmy started crying..hard. I did the next best thing I could think of......run. I jumped into my truck and started pulling away. In the rear view mirror I could see Jimmy running after my truck, in the middle of street, crying while chasing.
The last time I spoke to Jimmy which was....probably two years later, he was married and was trying for children. Good for you Jimmy!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
My Thoughts: The Ring Factor
It's just been one of those weeks where you finally sit down and realize....it's Thursday.
I finally got home tonight after a busy day of appointments and to watch my biggest guilty pleasure, the Wendy William's show and she was doing a commentary on the pregnant and dating show. She doesn't like it and I agree, I don't like it either. I watched two episodes and was bored out of my mind. Also, unlike moi, I tend to tell guys right away that I'm pregnant....let's get that pink elephant out of the room. These girls aren't saying anything until the 3rd or 4th date. I would be up in arms finding that information out so late, but ahhh who am I kidding, I haven't gone out on a date in over a month.
With that reminder, here I am.
Earlier this week, my son and I had our eye exams. Now, I speak very highly of my optometrist. I've been seeing him faithfully for...well most of my life. I've always had glasses and even in my teenage years, going for my appointment was like Christmas. I'd count down the days and be as giggly as a school girl when that time came. Did I mention he is gorgeous? Maybe that's why I always had an interest in the eye field.
In 2011, I had a decision to make. I was off on maternity leave for my first son and had to make the decision to go back to work at my boring factory job, OR go to school. I chose the latter at the time. I did all the paperwork and decided to become an optician, someone who helps you pick out your glasses and makes the lenses for you. Here's the catch, the only school was 4 hours away in Canada. I live in a border city and a school in the United States offered the same program...at only 2 hours away. I picked out my classes to be 3 days a week all day to make my trip worth it then Canada Post decided to go on strike. My student VISA was stuck in the mail. We all need money to survive, so I took that as a higher power telling me to go back to work so I did...the VISA came 2 weeks later but it was too late. Classes had already started.
Ok, I'm getting off topic here, back to my dreamy optometrist. He knew I had wanted to go to school to be an optician and had asked how it was going, 2 inches from my face. I broke the news that it didn't work out and he seemed so sad. He knew of my interest in the field and it kinda served as a reminder of how much my life has changed and how my dreams are not being fulfilled.
During my son's exam, toddlers as they often are, was not being very co-operative. After trying everything in his power to get my son to look at him (guess who's gonna need glasses probably for school) he makes up his charts and makes the comment that his daughter and my son were born on the same day. I found myself automatically looking for a ring. It never once occurred to me that this guy may have been married, let alone have kids.
In this day and age, I'm finding most people aren't wearing their wedding rings anymore. I was guilty of it too. Being a blue collar worker, I wasn't allowed to wear my rings at work so they often stayed in my jewelry box, where they still sit today. During happier times, my ex and I had gone to the lake with our son and while swimming, his slipped off his finger and we just never replaced it. We talked about it, but never really got around to it.
My father who is also a blue collar worker, never wears his for the exact same reason, he can't at work. So, if you don't go around wearing a sign saying "HEY I'M SINGLE" how do you know? You hear about people meeting in the grocery store, or at the bars but without that ring, how do you know you're not dealing with someone who has a wife and kids at home? I guess you just don't.
Ok, there is a damn kitten outside my window driving me nuts so I'm going to go try, for the 3rd time today to catch him. Until next time. OH and here's my new spectacles:
I finally got home tonight after a busy day of appointments and to watch my biggest guilty pleasure, the Wendy William's show and she was doing a commentary on the pregnant and dating show. She doesn't like it and I agree, I don't like it either. I watched two episodes and was bored out of my mind. Also, unlike moi, I tend to tell guys right away that I'm pregnant....let's get that pink elephant out of the room. These girls aren't saying anything until the 3rd or 4th date. I would be up in arms finding that information out so late, but ahhh who am I kidding, I haven't gone out on a date in over a month.
With that reminder, here I am.
Earlier this week, my son and I had our eye exams. Now, I speak very highly of my optometrist. I've been seeing him faithfully for...well most of my life. I've always had glasses and even in my teenage years, going for my appointment was like Christmas. I'd count down the days and be as giggly as a school girl when that time came. Did I mention he is gorgeous? Maybe that's why I always had an interest in the eye field.
In 2011, I had a decision to make. I was off on maternity leave for my first son and had to make the decision to go back to work at my boring factory job, OR go to school. I chose the latter at the time. I did all the paperwork and decided to become an optician, someone who helps you pick out your glasses and makes the lenses for you. Here's the catch, the only school was 4 hours away in Canada. I live in a border city and a school in the United States offered the same program...at only 2 hours away. I picked out my classes to be 3 days a week all day to make my trip worth it then Canada Post decided to go on strike. My student VISA was stuck in the mail. We all need money to survive, so I took that as a higher power telling me to go back to work so I did...the VISA came 2 weeks later but it was too late. Classes had already started.
Ok, I'm getting off topic here, back to my dreamy optometrist. He knew I had wanted to go to school to be an optician and had asked how it was going, 2 inches from my face. I broke the news that it didn't work out and he seemed so sad. He knew of my interest in the field and it kinda served as a reminder of how much my life has changed and how my dreams are not being fulfilled.
During my son's exam, toddlers as they often are, was not being very co-operative. After trying everything in his power to get my son to look at him (guess who's gonna need glasses probably for school) he makes up his charts and makes the comment that his daughter and my son were born on the same day. I found myself automatically looking for a ring. It never once occurred to me that this guy may have been married, let alone have kids.
In this day and age, I'm finding most people aren't wearing their wedding rings anymore. I was guilty of it too. Being a blue collar worker, I wasn't allowed to wear my rings at work so they often stayed in my jewelry box, where they still sit today. During happier times, my ex and I had gone to the lake with our son and while swimming, his slipped off his finger and we just never replaced it. We talked about it, but never really got around to it.
My father who is also a blue collar worker, never wears his for the exact same reason, he can't at work. So, if you don't go around wearing a sign saying "HEY I'M SINGLE" how do you know? You hear about people meeting in the grocery store, or at the bars but without that ring, how do you know you're not dealing with someone who has a wife and kids at home? I guess you just don't.
Ok, there is a damn kitten outside my window driving me nuts so I'm going to go try, for the 3rd time today to catch him. Until next time. OH and here's my new spectacles:
Thursday, July 18, 2013
My thoughts: Table for one please!
Again, I'm going to try to write out this post on my mother's tablet. Already I want to throw it out the window. I prefer to write out my blogs in complete silence, but with a 90 degree house and an a/c not working, beggars can't be choosers - they have central air.
Solomangarephobia - the fear of dining alone. Recently, a couple of my friends and I went on an assignment of sorts. Could we actually dine alone in an establishment and tell the tale? I joked that they were a bigger person than I if they could, for I couldn't but the more I thought about it, all the memories came flooding back of the times where I have.
I remember clearly my first time. I was sent on an assignment from my workplace to a different city 3 hours away. You can only take hotel room food for so long and I was there for approximately 4 months. I decided to put my big girl panties on and go to a relatively popular pub of sorts. It was during the supper rush and this was not in the smart phone days.
"How many?"
"Just me."
"Follow me"
Luckily they put me in the corner and I don't think I ate so fast in my life. I couldn't just play on my phone but I should've brought reading material. I felt judged, like I was the giant loser in the restaurant who couldn't find a date but in reality, my date was my work. After all, they were paying for it.
You watch in movies where the girl, beautiful as can be is sitting on the patio with her perfectly groomed yellow lab eating her lunch and drinking a martini. She's minding her own business, reading her book and in comes a handsome fellow they sit and chat and she dreams of the life they'll spend together.
OK, I'll admit I got that from a toothpaste commericial but does that actually happen? I can't ever remember hearing how two people met, eating dinner alone.
I have done breakfast alone in a diner and I have to admit it was awkward. It was a diner my ex and I visited frequently. Luckily, the owners must have known of my situation for they never asked where he was. I decided to follow the advice of my divorce book (ironic they're giving dating advice) and sit at the bar. People are more inclined to talk to you there, rather than a booth. I sat and ate my breakfast and was on my way with no numbers....and no visions of a life like the toothpaste commericial said.
Recently, one of my friends decided to go on a dining out adventure of her own. She is not single but had a real hankering for sushi. She decided to go to the place her man and her visit often and this woman has more balls than me - it was an all you can eat establishment. Maybe because she's a twig but as a woman with some junk in her trunk, to me that'd be the ultimate judgement. I've gone to buffets before and have seen single people and never blinked twice. Why is it I feel I'd be completely judged?
I'd love to go to restaurants I've never been, even to maybe one that charges $30 for a salad. Dress myself to the nines and have a night on the town. Just me and the city, maybe even hit up a movie but I'm not there just yet. My city's and I's relationship is still new and even though we've seen these people in public I'm still afraid to be judged.
Solomangarephobia - the fear of dining alone. Recently, a couple of my friends and I went on an assignment of sorts. Could we actually dine alone in an establishment and tell the tale? I joked that they were a bigger person than I if they could, for I couldn't but the more I thought about it, all the memories came flooding back of the times where I have.
I remember clearly my first time. I was sent on an assignment from my workplace to a different city 3 hours away. You can only take hotel room food for so long and I was there for approximately 4 months. I decided to put my big girl panties on and go to a relatively popular pub of sorts. It was during the supper rush and this was not in the smart phone days.
"How many?"
"Just me."
"Follow me"
Luckily they put me in the corner and I don't think I ate so fast in my life. I couldn't just play on my phone but I should've brought reading material. I felt judged, like I was the giant loser in the restaurant who couldn't find a date but in reality, my date was my work. After all, they were paying for it.
You watch in movies where the girl, beautiful as can be is sitting on the patio with her perfectly groomed yellow lab eating her lunch and drinking a martini. She's minding her own business, reading her book and in comes a handsome fellow they sit and chat and she dreams of the life they'll spend together.
OK, I'll admit I got that from a toothpaste commericial but does that actually happen? I can't ever remember hearing how two people met, eating dinner alone.
I have done breakfast alone in a diner and I have to admit it was awkward. It was a diner my ex and I visited frequently. Luckily, the owners must have known of my situation for they never asked where he was. I decided to follow the advice of my divorce book (ironic they're giving dating advice) and sit at the bar. People are more inclined to talk to you there, rather than a booth. I sat and ate my breakfast and was on my way with no numbers....and no visions of a life like the toothpaste commericial said.
Recently, one of my friends decided to go on a dining out adventure of her own. She is not single but had a real hankering for sushi. She decided to go to the place her man and her visit often and this woman has more balls than me - it was an all you can eat establishment. Maybe because she's a twig but as a woman with some junk in her trunk, to me that'd be the ultimate judgement. I've gone to buffets before and have seen single people and never blinked twice. Why is it I feel I'd be completely judged?
I'd love to go to restaurants I've never been, even to maybe one that charges $30 for a salad. Dress myself to the nines and have a night on the town. Just me and the city, maybe even hit up a movie but I'm not there just yet. My city's and I's relationship is still new and even though we've seen these people in public I'm still afraid to be judged.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
My Thoughts: Dating and Social Media
I love my friends, they really help me get topics rolling. I was stuck on what to write this week, nothing really happening on this front. The biggest dates I've had were with the most cutest boy on the planet, but at the end of the night, we're reading elmo books and I'm changing his bum. I had thought about even doing a book report on a new book I'm reading called: "Not your mother's divorce" but I'm having a hard time getting through it, it's really opening up some wounds.
I have a couple ladies who are also new to the dating scene and often come for advice and I have no problem shelling it out. We're all new at this and we're not in highschool again. The "I like you, do you like me? Let's be boyfriend and girlfriend" just doesn't fly. It's become this giant complicated dance that if you step on the other person's toes, you're likely to get the door shut in your face.
We're in the years of social media, and here's my thoughts on two subjects: Facebook and texting.
Facebook
Ok so a new guy comes in your life. You go on a date, it goes well and you're all of the sudden sending Facebook friend requests. In my opinion, this is a giant no-no. I've had some dates ask if I had Facebook and usually I respond with "Yes, but I'm never on it" (Lies, I live on the damn thing) or "No". Do I have something to hide? Well, no not really. (besides this blog, that'd be awkward them reading my thoughts on the date) but I prefer to keep my social and dating life separate.
Facebook has created an atmosphere that we're able to share everything, pictures, stories, status comments and you can get to know anyone usually by their facebook. Now, if I find out a last name or an email I can hit up your account and, if you don't keep it locked up:
-You went to a certain school
-Your best friend is named Joe
-Fluffy died yesterday
-Kid's pictures
Ah, the kid pictures. I have a TON of my son on my facebook. But here's the thing, I don't want to know what your kid looks like just yet. That's the biggest turn off when I'm looking at a profile on the dating site. To me, it's advertising. I don't want to know what yours look like, and I'm sure as hell not pulling out pictures of mine during the first date. It kinda reminds me of this:
I have a couple ladies who are also new to the dating scene and often come for advice and I have no problem shelling it out. We're all new at this and we're not in highschool again. The "I like you, do you like me? Let's be boyfriend and girlfriend" just doesn't fly. It's become this giant complicated dance that if you step on the other person's toes, you're likely to get the door shut in your face.
We're in the years of social media, and here's my thoughts on two subjects: Facebook and texting.
Ok so a new guy comes in your life. You go on a date, it goes well and you're all of the sudden sending Facebook friend requests. In my opinion, this is a giant no-no. I've had some dates ask if I had Facebook and usually I respond with "Yes, but I'm never on it" (Lies, I live on the damn thing) or "No". Do I have something to hide? Well, no not really. (besides this blog, that'd be awkward them reading my thoughts on the date) but I prefer to keep my social and dating life separate.
Facebook has created an atmosphere that we're able to share everything, pictures, stories, status comments and you can get to know anyone usually by their facebook. Now, if I find out a last name or an email I can hit up your account and, if you don't keep it locked up:
-You went to a certain school
-Your best friend is named Joe
-Fluffy died yesterday
-Kid's pictures
Ah, the kid pictures. I have a TON of my son on my facebook. But here's the thing, I don't want to know what your kid looks like just yet. That's the biggest turn off when I'm looking at a profile on the dating site. To me, it's advertising. I don't want to know what yours look like, and I'm sure as hell not pulling out pictures of mine during the first date. It kinda reminds me of this:
Plus, you go on a date and of course one of the questions is: "How'd your day go? How'd your weekend go?" Well, if you're like me, I keep that stuff pretty up to date so in reality, you know exactly how my day went and you know that fluffy died yesterday. We now have nothing to talk about.
Eventually, maybe when you become an official couple you can be on each other's facebook and make it 'facebook official' but during the getting to know process, your life is your life and my life is my life.
(Quick note, if they do add you and you don't want to be mean and deny, facebook has this little option called 'restricted lists'. It allows people to only see what the general public see [pending how you have it set up] and they're still considered your friend. It's great also when going through a break-up and you don't want to stir drama by deleting your ex's family and friends)
Texting
I love texting. It's a great tool. You can keep in contact with someone all day, get to know them better and you're still on another side of a screen. But again, there is a line to be drawn.
A friend of mine went on a date and here comes the problem with texting:
"We texted all day, and we went on the date, we really had nothing to talk about; it became extremely awkward"
I had become victim of this before as well, you like the guy and you want to talk to him all day. You're head over heels and just cannot wait to see their face again, however there is such a thing as 'too much' texting and it's one of the hardest things to overcome.
Remember Landon? Well we know how that turned out, but before his craziness appeared, we talked ALL the time. Then we went on the date and poof, it was the same conversation over again. Booooring.
So what do I recommend? A quick "hey hope you're having a good day" once a day is sufficient. Keep yourself in their mind but don't overdue it. Especially if you're new to the scene again. Also, keep in mind, once you've already texted them, don't continue to. Wait for their response. If they don't respond.... "They're just not that into you"
Thursday, July 4, 2013
The Crush
I think everyone secretly has a crush. Doesn't matter if your married, single, there's always that one person who makes you go 'daaaaaammmmn' Whether or not you act on it, there's the difference.
I met my crush many many moons ago, through friends I don't really talk to anymore. We partied and always had a good time, he did have his bad side though partying. He would drink too much and just cause havok.
He had always been a tortured soul and I've seen him fall in love and just drop to his knees when it didn't work out. I always felt bad for him, he was such SUCH a sweet guy and the looks were in his favour. I never understood why these girls would drop him like a sack of potatoes, and maybe I never will.
He lives in the same town as I do and would always honk and wave whenever I saw him about. Today, I ran into him at the local grocery store. It sounds terrible but I almost forgot he existed. My eyes lit right up when I saw him and wasted no time catching up. I was very quick to tell him of my new-found single life and hell, why not drop the pregnancy ball while I was there. Maybe I was looking for empathy, maybe I was looking for support...who knows, I really gotta work on these things.
He kept telling me how sorry he was to hear about everything's that happened. Here I am twirling my hair, smiling wayyyy too much while informing him of my shit life. HA.
We kept kinda running into each other in each aisle and yes at the icecream aisle, I asked if he was still single. I chalked it up to "hey last time I talked to you, you were dating [insert name here]. You guys still together?" I knew FULL WELL they weren't, hell, my ex went to his house to console him when they broke up. (When I say console, I mean drink their faces off), but it was my way of trying to find out if he was single. Pretty sneaky eh? He told me nope, he's single now just living day by day.
I also asked him if he was still up to his crazy ways. I've seen this guy fall through a window once hammered. He told me he's cleaned up and that person is gone. He just wants to settle down....*swooon*
He asked how my son was, I told him he was taking the break-up hard. WHY DO I KEEP BRINGING THIS UP?! MY God woman! You want this guy, stop talking about it! You could be saying 'oh he's learning to count, knows most of his colours, but nooooooo' And that he was going to be 3 next month. He started asking me how my job was going...again, nothing good to say, I'm off on injury. I quickly said our goodbyes because I felt like a giant asshole and would totally rewind that entire conversation if I could.
However, I did tell him I missed hanging out with him and if he's ever in the neighbourhood, to stop on by. He said 'alright' however, we have invited this guy out so many times and he never shows up so I'm not banking my luck on it.
Until next time.....I'll have to start working on my social skills.
I met my crush many many moons ago, through friends I don't really talk to anymore. We partied and always had a good time, he did have his bad side though partying. He would drink too much and just cause havok.
He had always been a tortured soul and I've seen him fall in love and just drop to his knees when it didn't work out. I always felt bad for him, he was such SUCH a sweet guy and the looks were in his favour. I never understood why these girls would drop him like a sack of potatoes, and maybe I never will.
He lives in the same town as I do and would always honk and wave whenever I saw him about. Today, I ran into him at the local grocery store. It sounds terrible but I almost forgot he existed. My eyes lit right up when I saw him and wasted no time catching up. I was very quick to tell him of my new-found single life and hell, why not drop the pregnancy ball while I was there. Maybe I was looking for empathy, maybe I was looking for support...who knows, I really gotta work on these things.
He kept telling me how sorry he was to hear about everything's that happened. Here I am twirling my hair, smiling wayyyy too much while informing him of my shit life. HA.
We kept kinda running into each other in each aisle and yes at the icecream aisle, I asked if he was still single. I chalked it up to "hey last time I talked to you, you were dating [insert name here]. You guys still together?" I knew FULL WELL they weren't, hell, my ex went to his house to console him when they broke up. (When I say console, I mean drink their faces off), but it was my way of trying to find out if he was single. Pretty sneaky eh? He told me nope, he's single now just living day by day.
I also asked him if he was still up to his crazy ways. I've seen this guy fall through a window once hammered. He told me he's cleaned up and that person is gone. He just wants to settle down....*swooon*
He asked how my son was, I told him he was taking the break-up hard. WHY DO I KEEP BRINGING THIS UP?! MY God woman! You want this guy, stop talking about it! You could be saying 'oh he's learning to count, knows most of his colours, but nooooooo' And that he was going to be 3 next month. He started asking me how my job was going...again, nothing good to say, I'm off on injury. I quickly said our goodbyes because I felt like a giant asshole and would totally rewind that entire conversation if I could.
However, I did tell him I missed hanging out with him and if he's ever in the neighbourhood, to stop on by. He said 'alright' however, we have invited this guy out so many times and he never shows up so I'm not banking my luck on it.
Until next time.....I'll have to start working on my social skills.
Thursday, June 27, 2013
My thoughts: Part 1
I'm typing from my mom's tablet so we'll have to see how far I make it before wanting to throw this out the window. Plus my nails are really not co-operating.
OK, first off, I want to give a shout-out to my Russian readers! I was going through my stats and I see I've got some hits from there, welcome folks!
So, to keep my blog alive during non-dating spells, I've decided to do reflection posts. I will label them, so you dont have to read them if you dont want to.
When my marriage blew up, I decided to go to counselling. It's nothing I'm ashamed of, in fact it was more or less 6 one hour sessions of me bawling my eyes out. He advised I start keeping a diary, writing down my thoughts on the situation each day and just using it to vent. It's been 3 months now and I'm sure if anyone read it, they'd need counselling themselves.
So, from the past week, 3 statements have been made to me that really got my mind going. I will also use this opportunity to open up a little bit of my past. I will try my darnest to keep this as drama free as possible.
Statement 1:
"I know us men can be dumb and big headed but a cooler head will prevail. No doubt he still cares for you since us men love to hurt then ones we love because we dont have the words or heart to think otherwise; He's bitter. I encourage you to stand firm, he will eventually come to his wits."
The Background:
I had mentioned I believe in Calvin's post, that I prefer to talk to men who are going through separations well. I've seen a quote around that says "Find someone whos demons are compatible with yours" and to me it's true. "Chris" messaged me asking me to give a woman's standpoint on separation. I told him the truth, the amount of disrespect that gets thrown around is terrible.
Throughout my marriage, respect was something low on the totem pole. It should never have been, I will agree and all I wanted most of all was to have that changed. I don't know why I thought it'd get better through the separation... silly me!
Disrepect is a giant circle. It was a slippery slope we could not get off of. I wont give you details but this statement got me thinking....if your spouse is your best friend, why is it when we're angry, we take it out on them?
I remember reading in one of my marriage books that if you're emotionally bonded with someone, you want them to feel all your emotions too. I tend to disagree with both of these statements. If I was angry, the last thing I wanted was for him to be angry, for he had a temper. The only thing I will stand firm on is I won't tolerate any more disrespect. We have both said very hurtful things to each other, but when I go out of my way to do favours, the last thing I expect is disrespect. Not only am I being disrespected, but so are my kids.
So in conclusion, I truly believe if you love someone you don't disrespect them. Maybe because I'm not a guy I think differently. I will say with every honest bone in my body that I don't love him anymore, the manipulation, lies, and disrespect really overshadows everything.
Anyways, moving on.
Statement 2:
"Some women need to define themselves by the relationship they're in. They will do everything in their power to cement it; including spread rumours and lie"
The Background
I was at a playdate when the conversation turned to my current situation. I would never understand how my ex was so quick to move on until I actually flipped the 'women' to 'him'. Well now that became interesting didn't it!
I have never been the type to define myself by the type of relationship I was in. I never changed the minute they pronounced us man and wife. I stayed Kelly, the hardworking, pretty much single mom who always put her family's needs first.
To this day, that's exactly who I still am, and maybe thats what our demise was, I was with my polar opposite. Someone who thought the minute the papers were signed I'd magically become someone I never would be.
Dont get me wrong, I'm sure being in a relationship is fantastic but looking back, I like me. I don't have to worry about being yelled at for the house not being cleaned, my legs havent been shaved in a month, never knowing what personality of my husband's I was facing that day, and the only people I have to answer to are my kids.
Maybe it's my upbringing, (being an only child) or the fact that my husband was a truckdriver but I never had to depend on anyone, let alone let it define me.
So, in conclusion:
Women will do anything to cement a relationship, that's nothing new we're pretty manipulative creatures. However if you need to base your entire relationship off of 'changing' yourself, then what type of relationship is that?
Statement 3:
"She's in mama bear mode. You f*ck with her cubs, and she will destroy you"
The Background
Ah, this one is my favourite. Of course it's about me and really, it's dead on. My babies are my life. My oldest son (well, only one at this time) is a very sensitive child. I knew that right from the beginning. He's also very innocent. He doesn't know what's happening and I will protect both of them from any hurt. It's my job. No doubt this entire situation is hurting him and it just KILLS me. I remember the day all of this blew up and I just held him telling him how sorry I was, crying my eyes out. He didn't know what was happening but he just sat there and eventually, grabbed me kleenex's.
How people can just walk in and out of children's lives I will never understand. Maybe because I never had to. My biological father died when I was 6 months and my step father raised me as his own. Do we not understand that these are little people who are depending on us for guidance and support? Has moral been completely thrown out the window?
In conclusion:
As I'm typing this, belly baby is kicking up a storm so don't worry kiddo, I haven't forgotten about you! It's sad but at the same time, kind of relieving that he'll never have to experience what my other son has. It will be his norm.
Well, feel free to post comments about this. Everyone's thoughts count!
OK, first off, I want to give a shout-out to my Russian readers! I was going through my stats and I see I've got some hits from there, welcome folks!
So, to keep my blog alive during non-dating spells, I've decided to do reflection posts. I will label them, so you dont have to read them if you dont want to.
When my marriage blew up, I decided to go to counselling. It's nothing I'm ashamed of, in fact it was more or less 6 one hour sessions of me bawling my eyes out. He advised I start keeping a diary, writing down my thoughts on the situation each day and just using it to vent. It's been 3 months now and I'm sure if anyone read it, they'd need counselling themselves.
So, from the past week, 3 statements have been made to me that really got my mind going. I will also use this opportunity to open up a little bit of my past. I will try my darnest to keep this as drama free as possible.
Statement 1:
"I know us men can be dumb and big headed but a cooler head will prevail. No doubt he still cares for you since us men love to hurt then ones we love because we dont have the words or heart to think otherwise; He's bitter. I encourage you to stand firm, he will eventually come to his wits."
The Background:
I had mentioned I believe in Calvin's post, that I prefer to talk to men who are going through separations well. I've seen a quote around that says "Find someone whos demons are compatible with yours" and to me it's true. "Chris" messaged me asking me to give a woman's standpoint on separation. I told him the truth, the amount of disrespect that gets thrown around is terrible.
Throughout my marriage, respect was something low on the totem pole. It should never have been, I will agree and all I wanted most of all was to have that changed. I don't know why I thought it'd get better through the separation... silly me!
Disrepect is a giant circle. It was a slippery slope we could not get off of. I wont give you details but this statement got me thinking....if your spouse is your best friend, why is it when we're angry, we take it out on them?
I remember reading in one of my marriage books that if you're emotionally bonded with someone, you want them to feel all your emotions too. I tend to disagree with both of these statements. If I was angry, the last thing I wanted was for him to be angry, for he had a temper. The only thing I will stand firm on is I won't tolerate any more disrespect. We have both said very hurtful things to each other, but when I go out of my way to do favours, the last thing I expect is disrespect. Not only am I being disrespected, but so are my kids.
So in conclusion, I truly believe if you love someone you don't disrespect them. Maybe because I'm not a guy I think differently. I will say with every honest bone in my body that I don't love him anymore, the manipulation, lies, and disrespect really overshadows everything.
Anyways, moving on.
Statement 2:
"Some women need to define themselves by the relationship they're in. They will do everything in their power to cement it; including spread rumours and lie"
The Background
I was at a playdate when the conversation turned to my current situation. I would never understand how my ex was so quick to move on until I actually flipped the 'women' to 'him'. Well now that became interesting didn't it!
I have never been the type to define myself by the type of relationship I was in. I never changed the minute they pronounced us man and wife. I stayed Kelly, the hardworking, pretty much single mom who always put her family's needs first.
To this day, that's exactly who I still am, and maybe thats what our demise was, I was with my polar opposite. Someone who thought the minute the papers were signed I'd magically become someone I never would be.
Dont get me wrong, I'm sure being in a relationship is fantastic but looking back, I like me. I don't have to worry about being yelled at for the house not being cleaned, my legs havent been shaved in a month, never knowing what personality of my husband's I was facing that day, and the only people I have to answer to are my kids.
Maybe it's my upbringing, (being an only child) or the fact that my husband was a truckdriver but I never had to depend on anyone, let alone let it define me.
So, in conclusion:
Women will do anything to cement a relationship, that's nothing new we're pretty manipulative creatures. However if you need to base your entire relationship off of 'changing' yourself, then what type of relationship is that?
Statement 3:
"She's in mama bear mode. You f*ck with her cubs, and she will destroy you"
The Background
Ah, this one is my favourite. Of course it's about me and really, it's dead on. My babies are my life. My oldest son (well, only one at this time) is a very sensitive child. I knew that right from the beginning. He's also very innocent. He doesn't know what's happening and I will protect both of them from any hurt. It's my job. No doubt this entire situation is hurting him and it just KILLS me. I remember the day all of this blew up and I just held him telling him how sorry I was, crying my eyes out. He didn't know what was happening but he just sat there and eventually, grabbed me kleenex's.
How people can just walk in and out of children's lives I will never understand. Maybe because I never had to. My biological father died when I was 6 months and my step father raised me as his own. Do we not understand that these are little people who are depending on us for guidance and support? Has moral been completely thrown out the window?
In conclusion:
As I'm typing this, belly baby is kicking up a storm so don't worry kiddo, I haven't forgotten about you! It's sad but at the same time, kind of relieving that he'll never have to experience what my other son has. It will be his norm.
Well, feel free to post comments about this. Everyone's thoughts count!
Friday, June 21, 2013
Low Expectations
Ok so, let's keep in mind here that it's 9 pm on a Friday night and I am home.
I have a certain criteria when I talk to new people. Here it is:
1) must have a job
2) must have a car
3) must live on their own
4) must be tall and have an athletic build
Ok that last one is negotiable, but if I see those top 4, you have my attention.
Now lately, I haven't really wanted to meet anyone new. I've been focusing all my attention on healing my back and taking care of my son full time (my parents have been helping me due to my injury. He was here from 9 - 7 everyday and went to their house to sleep because my pain is worse at night and in the morning. He was starting to get upset over this arrangement so, mommy sucked it up with only taking pain killers then)
So, "Jay" messaged me, I thought he had met the top 4...I missed a key point, and I'll explain later. He wanted to meet RIGHT away. Oh hell no. I kept using my son as an excuse not to meet and it was true but I wasn't in any rush.
I should mention that I have a little background in journalism. I did co-op at CHYR radio and am quite good at interviewing and getting information from people. So, using those skills in prospective new dates, it was very hard to get information from Jay. When I asked what type of music he listened to... "everything". Ok... do you have a favourite band "nope I like everything.". Arg. Alright, what type of shows do you watch? "Everything"... "there's nothing that you love to watch".."no not really"...GIVE ME A BONE HERE.
My son is visiting his father this weekend and after constantly putting Jay off, I decided to go out to coffee. I really put no effort in my looks tonight since I was feeling pretty 'meh' about the whole deal and I'm glad I didn't. I had mentioned to him that yesterday I had to put new tires on my car when we spoke so... I pull up to the coffee shop and he was sitting in his truck. The first words out of his mouth was "you got used tires didn't you". Well hello to you too. He got out of his truck and ladies, I wish I could make this up:
-He was wearing jogging pants
-He was wearing a shirt with his sleeves torn off
-He smelled dirty
Okaaaay, time to run! And only if I did...
He paid for my coffee and we sat down, I learned that he was on disability due to back problems. Now, being on disability, I can't really judge that because hell, look at me. Here's the difference though, I don't plan to make a career out of it, I'm already going insane as it is.
Here's another point, obviously he's not working, why in God's name is he smelling dirty and coming on a DATE looking like he walked out of a factory?
So we started chatting and it really became an 'ex-bashing session' for him. I sat there...and just kinda nodded and had to really bite my tongue. You quickly learn, that sometimes, the ex g/f isn't as bat shit crazy as they make them out to be. We go outside and he sat there, on his cell phone, texting. Really?
After a whole one hour I took my leave, claiming hip pain as the problem. He didn't even get a hug because I really didn't want to smell like that and unfortunately, it's still burned into my nose. He messaged me 10 minutes later asking what I thought of him. I said the only thing that came into my mind that was appropriate.
"You're...nice"
"Can we be more?"
"I'm actually enjoying my single life right now"
"We can take it slow then"
No.
I have a certain criteria when I talk to new people. Here it is:
1) must have a job
2) must have a car
3) must live on their own
4) must be tall and have an athletic build
Ok that last one is negotiable, but if I see those top 4, you have my attention.
Now lately, I haven't really wanted to meet anyone new. I've been focusing all my attention on healing my back and taking care of my son full time (my parents have been helping me due to my injury. He was here from 9 - 7 everyday and went to their house to sleep because my pain is worse at night and in the morning. He was starting to get upset over this arrangement so, mommy sucked it up with only taking pain killers then)
So, "Jay" messaged me, I thought he had met the top 4...I missed a key point, and I'll explain later. He wanted to meet RIGHT away. Oh hell no. I kept using my son as an excuse not to meet and it was true but I wasn't in any rush.
I should mention that I have a little background in journalism. I did co-op at CHYR radio and am quite good at interviewing and getting information from people. So, using those skills in prospective new dates, it was very hard to get information from Jay. When I asked what type of music he listened to... "everything". Ok... do you have a favourite band "nope I like everything.". Arg. Alright, what type of shows do you watch? "Everything"... "there's nothing that you love to watch".."no not really"...GIVE ME A BONE HERE.
My son is visiting his father this weekend and after constantly putting Jay off, I decided to go out to coffee. I really put no effort in my looks tonight since I was feeling pretty 'meh' about the whole deal and I'm glad I didn't. I had mentioned to him that yesterday I had to put new tires on my car when we spoke so... I pull up to the coffee shop and he was sitting in his truck. The first words out of his mouth was "you got used tires didn't you". Well hello to you too. He got out of his truck and ladies, I wish I could make this up:
-He was wearing jogging pants
-He was wearing a shirt with his sleeves torn off
-He smelled dirty
Okaaaay, time to run! And only if I did...
He paid for my coffee and we sat down, I learned that he was on disability due to back problems. Now, being on disability, I can't really judge that because hell, look at me. Here's the difference though, I don't plan to make a career out of it, I'm already going insane as it is.
Here's another point, obviously he's not working, why in God's name is he smelling dirty and coming on a DATE looking like he walked out of a factory?
So we started chatting and it really became an 'ex-bashing session' for him. I sat there...and just kinda nodded and had to really bite my tongue. You quickly learn, that sometimes, the ex g/f isn't as bat shit crazy as they make them out to be. We go outside and he sat there, on his cell phone, texting. Really?
After a whole one hour I took my leave, claiming hip pain as the problem. He didn't even get a hug because I really didn't want to smell like that and unfortunately, it's still burned into my nose. He messaged me 10 minutes later asking what I thought of him. I said the only thing that came into my mind that was appropriate.
"You're...nice"
"Can we be more?"
"I'm actually enjoying my single life right now"
"We can take it slow then"
No.
Monday, June 17, 2013
To My Friends...
I'll give you an update on sushi guy really quickly. My intuition was correct, he wanted to be...physical friends. So, with my dignity in tack, I said no thanks and haven't talked to him since. Therefore, I also did not get my sushi, which being pregnant, is the most disappointing.
I've been filling alot of my down time surfing a picture site. If you're on my facebook, you'll see me sometimes post things from there. I've always lurked on it, but now I'm an official participant. Anyways, I had started making small chat with someone on there who's wife wanted a divorce. Now, being in the same boat, I know how much it sucks. It's a very emotional and expensive process, and being pregnant while doing it, it's not for the faint of heart.
So, I shot him a message, told him if he needed to talk, I'm right here. He took me up on the offer and I found out he was from Ohio, about the same age as me, and well, wasn't taking it well. I talked to him for 2 days straight. I gave him all the advice I could, anything to help him save his marriage. He helped me get through some awkward issues I had to deal with this weekend, just by staying by his phone and letting me rant about them after.
The response times eventually started getting longer and eventually yesterday, we stopped talking. I really REALLY hope he takes me up on my advice and does anything he can to save his marriage. Just because mine failed, doesn't mean his needs to.
This weekend has been full of it's ups and downs and to my friends and family who've sat by my side, whether it was up till 3 in the morning having chats that if I was able to drink wine, I would've had the entire bottle, to helping me deal with an injured dog, to helping me clean my house, to late night deck chats, to arranging play dates to get me and the kiddo out of the house, it never goes unnoticed. In a way, my relationships with them have grown and flourished more everyday and they accept me for me. That ladies and gentleman, is what keeps my spirits up.
Until next time.
I've been filling alot of my down time surfing a picture site. If you're on my facebook, you'll see me sometimes post things from there. I've always lurked on it, but now I'm an official participant. Anyways, I had started making small chat with someone on there who's wife wanted a divorce. Now, being in the same boat, I know how much it sucks. It's a very emotional and expensive process, and being pregnant while doing it, it's not for the faint of heart.
So, I shot him a message, told him if he needed to talk, I'm right here. He took me up on the offer and I found out he was from Ohio, about the same age as me, and well, wasn't taking it well. I talked to him for 2 days straight. I gave him all the advice I could, anything to help him save his marriage. He helped me get through some awkward issues I had to deal with this weekend, just by staying by his phone and letting me rant about them after.
The response times eventually started getting longer and eventually yesterday, we stopped talking. I really REALLY hope he takes me up on my advice and does anything he can to save his marriage. Just because mine failed, doesn't mean his needs to.
This weekend has been full of it's ups and downs and to my friends and family who've sat by my side, whether it was up till 3 in the morning having chats that if I was able to drink wine, I would've had the entire bottle, to helping me deal with an injured dog, to helping me clean my house, to late night deck chats, to arranging play dates to get me and the kiddo out of the house, it never goes unnoticed. In a way, my relationships with them have grown and flourished more everyday and they accept me for me. That ladies and gentleman, is what keeps my spirits up.
Until next time.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Rumor has it...
Whoooooooo loves 2 am phone calls? Not me!
There is a rumor swirling around at the moment and I'm not going to even give it the time of day addressing what it is, but you have to admit, the fact that it keeps coming up is interesting to say the least.
I've thought about addressing the person whom the rumor involves but in all aspects, I'm not going to stoop down to the level that the other individual did. You'd think after hearing the EXACT answer about it over and over and over again and story not changing they would get the hint...clearly not.
I'm not big into what people think of me...or else I wouldn't have created this blog. I've opened my world to the world and people can make up fantasies or rumors of to what they think is actually happening. That's fine, but when the 2 am attacks come, that's when it becomes worrisome.
People need to understand, these dates happen from April - present. So in context, I've gone on technically 4 dates, in 3 months.
I knew I was going to get attacked about it constantly, I'm not dumb but how is it ok, that other individuals can jump right into a relationship after 8 year relationship, to it not being ok for me to go on dates? It's simple really, it's called double standards.
I know I'm pregnant, I announce it to the world. I cannot wait for the day my newest one comes and I know my time will be taken up by him....and again, I cannot wait. I strive to be the best mother possible to my kids and by doing so, little shit like this will not affect me. But what does affect me, is the fact that people assume my dating and my parenting are being intertwined. Untrue and I WILL tear apart anyone who thinks as much.
Ok, so that's it for now, I have a chiro appointment to get to.
*Editor's note *
In response to recent postings that have occurred, I would also like to address the fact that anything I have ever talked about, or said to anyone, I always have proof about. I really should've been a lawyer, and maybe I was in a former life. I keep everything, and so, that should settle that issue. If I hear something, I do my research about it, to back up my claims, I do not go at right at the throat before finding out the truth. That's what got you into trouble for Friday, and will continue to.
There is a rumor swirling around at the moment and I'm not going to even give it the time of day addressing what it is, but you have to admit, the fact that it keeps coming up is interesting to say the least.
I've thought about addressing the person whom the rumor involves but in all aspects, I'm not going to stoop down to the level that the other individual did. You'd think after hearing the EXACT answer about it over and over and over again and story not changing they would get the hint...clearly not.
I'm not big into what people think of me...or else I wouldn't have created this blog. I've opened my world to the world and people can make up fantasies or rumors of to what they think is actually happening. That's fine, but when the 2 am attacks come, that's when it becomes worrisome.
People need to understand, these dates happen from April - present. So in context, I've gone on technically 4 dates, in 3 months.
I knew I was going to get attacked about it constantly, I'm not dumb but how is it ok, that other individuals can jump right into a relationship after 8 year relationship, to it not being ok for me to go on dates? It's simple really, it's called double standards.
I know I'm pregnant, I announce it to the world. I cannot wait for the day my newest one comes and I know my time will be taken up by him....and again, I cannot wait. I strive to be the best mother possible to my kids and by doing so, little shit like this will not affect me. But what does affect me, is the fact that people assume my dating and my parenting are being intertwined. Untrue and I WILL tear apart anyone who thinks as much.
Ok, so that's it for now, I have a chiro appointment to get to.
*Editor's note *
In response to recent postings that have occurred, I would also like to address the fact that anything I have ever talked about, or said to anyone, I always have proof about. I really should've been a lawyer, and maybe I was in a former life. I keep everything, and so, that should settle that issue. If I hear something, I do my research about it, to back up my claims, I do not go at right at the throat before finding out the truth. That's what got you into trouble for Friday, and will continue to.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Sushi Guy
I had one of the worst days of my life over the past weekend. Legally, I can't talk about it, nor do I want to, but just know, it was one of the most stressful moments of my life.
Sushi guy messaged me later that friday night, and I'm not going to lie, I was downright bitchy to him. I already put him into the 'another slim bag trying to get into my pants' category and looking back on the conversation, he never really suggested it.
I tried every card in the book to make this guy go away. I told him I had baggage up the roof, I was pregnant off the bat, I'm not looking to meet anyone right now, I'm dealing with alot of crap at this moment, I have baby-daddy drama, anything ANYTHING to make this guy run.
His response? "well, I'm glad you're honest this early into the conversation"....arg, fine, you win, lets talk.
He sent me his picture and he's an average looking guy, great smile, alright one point for you. He lives in the same town as me, has a car, has a great job and......knows how to make sushi *does a little dance*
He really wanted to meet and I asked him at least twice "why me?" I wasn't digging for compliments, but I just really slammed this guy all my drama before we even saw each other face to face. Landon pretty much put me on edge and I wasn't going to have a part 2.
He said because I was hot and seemed like I had a head on my shoulders. Oh here we go, I knew you just wanted sex! He asked me when was the last time I asked someone on a date and it didn't involve looks a little bit?...shit, you got me there.
So yesterday, after dealing with Landon all day, I went out for coffee with sushi guy. It was kinda nice, I really didn't have anything to hide. We talked about past relationships, his job, my job, just a good conversation.
We go our ways, he asks if he can see me again, I say "Sure...but can there be sushi involved"..."Absolutely"
Sushi guy messaged me later that friday night, and I'm not going to lie, I was downright bitchy to him. I already put him into the 'another slim bag trying to get into my pants' category and looking back on the conversation, he never really suggested it.
I tried every card in the book to make this guy go away. I told him I had baggage up the roof, I was pregnant off the bat, I'm not looking to meet anyone right now, I'm dealing with alot of crap at this moment, I have baby-daddy drama, anything ANYTHING to make this guy run.
His response? "well, I'm glad you're honest this early into the conversation"....arg, fine, you win, lets talk.
He sent me his picture and he's an average looking guy, great smile, alright one point for you. He lives in the same town as me, has a car, has a great job and......knows how to make sushi *does a little dance*
He really wanted to meet and I asked him at least twice "why me?" I wasn't digging for compliments, but I just really slammed this guy all my drama before we even saw each other face to face. Landon pretty much put me on edge and I wasn't going to have a part 2.
He said because I was hot and seemed like I had a head on my shoulders. Oh here we go, I knew you just wanted sex! He asked me when was the last time I asked someone on a date and it didn't involve looks a little bit?...shit, you got me there.
So yesterday, after dealing with Landon all day, I went out for coffee with sushi guy. It was kinda nice, I really didn't have anything to hide. We talked about past relationships, his job, my job, just a good conversation.
We go our ways, he asks if he can see me again, I say "Sure...but can there be sushi involved"..."Absolutely"
Monday, June 10, 2013
DON'T DATE CRAZY
Do I have a sign on my forehead saying 'please, if you're crazy, lets go on a date'?
If you read about Landon, then well this should not surprise you. In a way, I'm glad the kid doesn't own a vehicle because he'd probably be at my house right now.
I'm a nice person, I try not to let guys down too roughly. With Landon, I said I wouldn't mind being friends, but that's it. He asked if we could be more down the road and I said 'I don't know'. I should've said HELL NO, and that's where I got myself into trouble.
All week I've been trying to avoid him, he's been asking me to go on more dates, fishing, and even tried to add me on facebook. I keep denying him entry and today, things just got out of hand.
He kept trying to call me, to the point I had to block his number. Then, he tried messaging me constantly on the website, I had to tell him and excuse my french, to fuck off. He's gone mental. Ugh, it's crap like this that make me want to dig into a hole and disappear.
Wish me luck he doesn't appear at my door.
If you read about Landon, then well this should not surprise you. In a way, I'm glad the kid doesn't own a vehicle because he'd probably be at my house right now.
I'm a nice person, I try not to let guys down too roughly. With Landon, I said I wouldn't mind being friends, but that's it. He asked if we could be more down the road and I said 'I don't know'. I should've said HELL NO, and that's where I got myself into trouble.
All week I've been trying to avoid him, he's been asking me to go on more dates, fishing, and even tried to add me on facebook. I keep denying him entry and today, things just got out of hand.
He kept trying to call me, to the point I had to block his number. Then, he tried messaging me constantly on the website, I had to tell him and excuse my french, to fuck off. He's gone mental. Ugh, it's crap like this that make me want to dig into a hole and disappear.
Wish me luck he doesn't appear at my door.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Landon
I think I'm going to start diagnosing myself with commitment-phobia.
Here I go again, nice guy but as usual, I need to pick at his faults and think of ways of why it'll never work.
Anyways, so Landon contacted me, and after my 4 - 7 day rule, we decided to meet up. Landon however doesn't have his license so red flag for me right there. He lives a good 45 minutes away and I'm not a taxi. I did tell Landon of my pregnancy after he wanted to know why I was just looking for a hang-out friend and pretty sure I inadvertently found a pregnancy fetish guy. I'll explain later.
So, at a local coffee shop in his hometown and he makes the suggestion to go take a walk by the river... walk is the key word there, something I don't do well. First bench we hit, I'm down for the count.
I found with Landon that everything we talked about on the phone, he talked about again. It was an extreme deja-vu moment for me and since I try not to be rude, it involved a lot of "uh huhs" and "oh wows".
Landon started going on about his past, he has a record *red flag* claiming for something he got blamed for that didn't do....right. Landon is also still on probation...*flag flag*, and is now living with his parents...*flag is going wild*.
Anyways, we drive out to the middle of no-where, open the back hatch and start making out in the back of my car...highschool memories anyone? He's an extremely GOOD kisser and very gentle. However things start to get weird from there, he starts to rub my stomach and whisper how beautiful I am. Well thanks for the compliment, but...belly rub.... am i the only one who finds this weird?
It starts getting late and I decide to take him home. I didn't get my nap in today so that my contribute to my crankiness. We stop at tim's again, he again pays for my drink and I am seriously running low on gas. He also paid for that. Does that constitute a dinner and date? I might keep Landon around for a while, because even though I didn't touch really on his good side, he was really nice and respectful, plus shells out the compliments like they're going out of style.
Until next time
Here I go again, nice guy but as usual, I need to pick at his faults and think of ways of why it'll never work.
Anyways, so Landon contacted me, and after my 4 - 7 day rule, we decided to meet up. Landon however doesn't have his license so red flag for me right there. He lives a good 45 minutes away and I'm not a taxi. I did tell Landon of my pregnancy after he wanted to know why I was just looking for a hang-out friend and pretty sure I inadvertently found a pregnancy fetish guy. I'll explain later.
So, at a local coffee shop in his hometown and he makes the suggestion to go take a walk by the river... walk is the key word there, something I don't do well. First bench we hit, I'm down for the count.
I found with Landon that everything we talked about on the phone, he talked about again. It was an extreme deja-vu moment for me and since I try not to be rude, it involved a lot of "uh huhs" and "oh wows".
Landon started going on about his past, he has a record *red flag* claiming for something he got blamed for that didn't do....right. Landon is also still on probation...*flag flag*, and is now living with his parents...*flag is going wild*.
Anyways, we drive out to the middle of no-where, open the back hatch and start making out in the back of my car...highschool memories anyone? He's an extremely GOOD kisser and very gentle. However things start to get weird from there, he starts to rub my stomach and whisper how beautiful I am. Well thanks for the compliment, but...belly rub.... am i the only one who finds this weird?
It starts getting late and I decide to take him home. I didn't get my nap in today so that my contribute to my crankiness. We stop at tim's again, he again pays for my drink and I am seriously running low on gas. He also paid for that. Does that constitute a dinner and date? I might keep Landon around for a while, because even though I didn't touch really on his good side, he was really nice and respectful, plus shells out the compliments like they're going out of style.
Until next time
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Cop
Good morning ladies (and maybe gentlemen)
Dealing with some sperm donor drama at the moment, he dislikes this new blog....oh well!
He even went down to the point of having his new girlfriend attack me for it, and wonders why everyone on earth thinks he's a piece of crap...
Ok that's enough of that rant.
Now for the cop. I should mention that I had totally forgot about this (pregnancy brain?) until a friend reminded me about it.
Nothing happened at all between cop and I but I should mention that because of him, I need to work on not going out in just jogging pants with my hair barely brushed.
I mentioned before that I have an almost 3 year old, who's growing like a weed. Now being on a single and not to mention injury income, I have resorted to buying 2nd hand. I'm not judging, I'm just not used to it. I found on a local site 50 outfits for $100, all his size. PERFECT!
I responded to such ad and was surprised that a male name responded back but didn't really think much of it. I agreed to go to his house the next morning and take a look.
I'm an extremely careful person, those news stories of people getting killed by doing stuff like this do not go past me. So with mom and kid in tow, we walked up to the house in the middle of suburbia hell. An extremely good looking man answers the door and invites us in. I hobble up his stairs and am greeted with a giant hockey bag just stuffed with clothes. As we start going through we start making small chat. I commented on the fact that they were all name brand and all in really good shape. He responds by saying he's a single dad going through a divorce....oh really. *fixes hair*
I mention that I'm in the same boat and because of my injury, can't really go shopping for him. He mentions he's on injury leave too. I asked from where and he informs me he's a city police officer. *fixes boobs*
We start talking about the different treatment we're receiving and informs me that my chiro right now is under investigation for improper treatment. Damnit, time to find a new chiro. My benefits company is giving me an extremely hard time, apparently pregnant, injured, barely walking women are able to work. Cute. He told me if they at any time start denying my pay, to give him a call....no problem!
He also said he'd keep my number for when his son grows out of more clothes....can't you keep my number for other things too?? I kid!...well no not really.
We end up packing up to leave and that's when it happened..the humiliation. I prefer to think my child was trying to sabotage me. My son.......kicked his cat. The cat was near the door while we were putting our shoes on and BOOT! I could not say sorry enough! Just the thought right now is making me embarrassed again...
Alright well, we're coming up to either Navy guy or Landon. Those are the two that have caught my current interest. So, I will update once something happens. I talked to Landon for an hour last night on the phone and.....meh. I'll explain later.
Until then.
Dealing with some sperm donor drama at the moment, he dislikes this new blog....oh well!
He even went down to the point of having his new girlfriend attack me for it, and wonders why everyone on earth thinks he's a piece of crap...
Ok that's enough of that rant.
Now for the cop. I should mention that I had totally forgot about this (pregnancy brain?) until a friend reminded me about it.
Nothing happened at all between cop and I but I should mention that because of him, I need to work on not going out in just jogging pants with my hair barely brushed.
I mentioned before that I have an almost 3 year old, who's growing like a weed. Now being on a single and not to mention injury income, I have resorted to buying 2nd hand. I'm not judging, I'm just not used to it. I found on a local site 50 outfits for $100, all his size. PERFECT!
I responded to such ad and was surprised that a male name responded back but didn't really think much of it. I agreed to go to his house the next morning and take a look.
I'm an extremely careful person, those news stories of people getting killed by doing stuff like this do not go past me. So with mom and kid in tow, we walked up to the house in the middle of suburbia hell. An extremely good looking man answers the door and invites us in. I hobble up his stairs and am greeted with a giant hockey bag just stuffed with clothes. As we start going through we start making small chat. I commented on the fact that they were all name brand and all in really good shape. He responds by saying he's a single dad going through a divorce....oh really. *fixes hair*
I mention that I'm in the same boat and because of my injury, can't really go shopping for him. He mentions he's on injury leave too. I asked from where and he informs me he's a city police officer. *fixes boobs*
We start talking about the different treatment we're receiving and informs me that my chiro right now is under investigation for improper treatment. Damnit, time to find a new chiro. My benefits company is giving me an extremely hard time, apparently pregnant, injured, barely walking women are able to work. Cute. He told me if they at any time start denying my pay, to give him a call....no problem!
He also said he'd keep my number for when his son grows out of more clothes....can't you keep my number for other things too?? I kid!...well no not really.
We end up packing up to leave and that's when it happened..the humiliation. I prefer to think my child was trying to sabotage me. My son.......kicked his cat. The cat was near the door while we were putting our shoes on and BOOT! I could not say sorry enough! Just the thought right now is making me embarrassed again...
Alright well, we're coming up to either Navy guy or Landon. Those are the two that have caught my current interest. So, I will update once something happens. I talked to Landon for an hour last night on the phone and.....meh. I'll explain later.
Until then.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Calvin
I thought about posting about Calvin tomorrow but I'm on a roll and this mama has plans.
As you can recall, I have changed all the names of my adverturers and Calvin's name came from the fact he was the male version of me:
-Newly separated
-He found his wife in bed with a friend a week after the wedding (I found out my ex was sexting another woman 3 months after mine [i know I said I'd save you some of the gory details but, I couldn't resist this one])
-He had a 3 year old
-He was extremely good looking
-We just had a lot in common in general.
I try to talk to potential prospects for about 4 - 7 days before meeting. After a very lengthy phone conversation I decided to pull out the pregnancy card....I have decided to not do this so soon anymore, because his response to it was "well, guess I can't get you pregnant". I didn't realize sex was on the table at this point.
I told him straight up, that I wasn't looking for anything serious. Maybe a coffee date here or there, a movie watching buddy, but I'm slowly learning that in guy lingo that means "friends with benefits". Guys, if you're reading this, no....it doesn't.
So, after meeting Calvin and having to keep my drooling mouth to myself, we decide to go back to my house. Now, you know what that means, and I know what that means too, but this story is going in another direction. After sitting on the couch, a make-out session proceeded and apparently I wasn't the one with a drooling problem......Calvin was a bad kisser.
HOW DO YOU GO THROUGH LIFE BEING A BAD KISSER?!
Well, that ended that for me...I promptly told him that I wasn't ready for this just yet and led him out. It was really unfortunate, he was a really nice guy and really nice to look at. Oh well.
We haven't talked since and I choose to believe that him and his wife let bi-gones be bi-gones and they're living a happy life again.
Next: The Cop
As you can recall, I have changed all the names of my adverturers and Calvin's name came from the fact he was the male version of me:
-Newly separated
-He found his wife in bed with a friend a week after the wedding (I found out my ex was sexting another woman 3 months after mine [i know I said I'd save you some of the gory details but, I couldn't resist this one])
-He had a 3 year old
-He was extremely good looking
-We just had a lot in common in general.
I try to talk to potential prospects for about 4 - 7 days before meeting. After a very lengthy phone conversation I decided to pull out the pregnancy card....I have decided to not do this so soon anymore, because his response to it was "well, guess I can't get you pregnant". I didn't realize sex was on the table at this point.
I told him straight up, that I wasn't looking for anything serious. Maybe a coffee date here or there, a movie watching buddy, but I'm slowly learning that in guy lingo that means "friends with benefits". Guys, if you're reading this, no....it doesn't.
So, after meeting Calvin and having to keep my drooling mouth to myself, we decide to go back to my house. Now, you know what that means, and I know what that means too, but this story is going in another direction. After sitting on the couch, a make-out session proceeded and apparently I wasn't the one with a drooling problem......Calvin was a bad kisser.
HOW DO YOU GO THROUGH LIFE BEING A BAD KISSER?!
Well, that ended that for me...I promptly told him that I wasn't ready for this just yet and led him out. It was really unfortunate, he was a really nice guy and really nice to look at. Oh well.
We haven't talked since and I choose to believe that him and his wife let bi-gones be bi-gones and they're living a happy life again.
Next: The Cop
Stan
I've known Stan for a long time. We went to highschool together and eventually worked at the same place. He got laid off during the automotive down fall and we always kept in touch.
Anyways, Stan one day messaged me asking how things were going, WELL whether he knew it or not, he had just opened pandora's box. I told him everything, I was newly single, pregnant and miserable.
I'm going to start by saying that I'll forever be grateful to Stan for pulling me out of my rut I was in. I wanted to just so desperately have it work between my ex and I and he took me out of that mind-set.
We ended up going out to the movies and he passed out.... poor guy! We started talking everyday and he was doing things my ex wasn't. He would ask how I was everyday, ask how my appointments were going, ask how my kids were, he showed a genuine interest in my life.
If I asked him to jump, he'd say how high? He was always willing to help me out in every way he could. From weeding my garden to getting my ice packs. He wanted to always spend time with me.
Now, no doubt you are saying "Kelly, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, THIS SEEMS LIKE THE DREAM GUY" and trust me, I feel the same way, and that's why I had to stop it there.
I really feel if Stan would've come a little later in life, things would've ended up differently. When Stan was around, I was (well still am) in a very vulnerable state. I could not, and would not allow him in. No matter how hard he tried, I have these walls built up that no matter what he could do, they were solid. I felt like, I was going to break his heart, I knew he wanted to be more serious and the thought to me just made me want to run.
So Stan, if you read this, know that you didn't do anything wrong....at all! I told you that before and I'll continue to tell you that. I don't want you turning into an asshole because of girls like me. You are an amazing guy and one day you'll find a girl that will completely appreciate it.
Ahhh 'Calvin' you're up next
Anyways, Stan one day messaged me asking how things were going, WELL whether he knew it or not, he had just opened pandora's box. I told him everything, I was newly single, pregnant and miserable.
I'm going to start by saying that I'll forever be grateful to Stan for pulling me out of my rut I was in. I wanted to just so desperately have it work between my ex and I and he took me out of that mind-set.
We ended up going out to the movies and he passed out.... poor guy! We started talking everyday and he was doing things my ex wasn't. He would ask how I was everyday, ask how my appointments were going, ask how my kids were, he showed a genuine interest in my life.
If I asked him to jump, he'd say how high? He was always willing to help me out in every way he could. From weeding my garden to getting my ice packs. He wanted to always spend time with me.
Now, no doubt you are saying "Kelly, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, THIS SEEMS LIKE THE DREAM GUY" and trust me, I feel the same way, and that's why I had to stop it there.
I really feel if Stan would've come a little later in life, things would've ended up differently. When Stan was around, I was (well still am) in a very vulnerable state. I could not, and would not allow him in. No matter how hard he tried, I have these walls built up that no matter what he could do, they were solid. I felt like, I was going to break his heart, I knew he wanted to be more serious and the thought to me just made me want to run.
So Stan, if you read this, know that you didn't do anything wrong....at all! I told you that before and I'll continue to tell you that. I don't want you turning into an asshole because of girls like me. You are an amazing guy and one day you'll find a girl that will completely appreciate it.
Ahhh 'Calvin' you're up next
Introduction
Well, let me introduce myself.
I'm Kelly and I'm 26 years young. I have a 2 year old (soon to be 3) son and well, if you're here, you will also quickly learn that I'm pregnant with my 2nd child. Why I'm being published as my dog, I have no idea...I'll try to figure that out later.
I am 20 weeks along and it's another boy. Alright now, I'll spare you most of the gory details of their father's and I's relationship but I'll try to sum it up:
-We were together 7 years, married for 1 = 8 years.
-We separated January 16th, had a night of wild sex a week later and BOOM here's number 2.
-We tried to make it work after, obviously didn't work
-He's moved on with someone else, but I'm more of a 'slowly get my feet wet' person
That being said, I'm also not about to let this pregnancy make me sit at home all day wondering 'what could've been'. I spent 6 months doing that, and I probably should've taken stock out on kleenex.
If your plan is to lecture me on how I should be just sitting down and 'focusing on the baby and your kids' then move along, I am off on injury leave from my work due to not born kiddo and get bored extremely easily.
So lets begin shall we?
I guess the major question is, "how do you go about telling these people that you're pregnant? How do they respond?" Well, that's a question I get to be faced with everyday. 2 out of 3 past dates knew and surprisingly took it well. Maybe because if things got more serious, they wouldn't have to worry about me getting pregnant? Who knows. I can also hide it very well, so it's not right in their face.
I also would like to think that someone wants to meet me based on my personality, rather than the fact that they live out their fetish of having sex with a pregnant broad.
Where do I find these guys? Where else? Internet dating.......ahhh the beauty of being able to quickly shift through people's profiles and pick and chose who I want to see. Call me low, but yes looks are a major part in this new adventure and ladies, I'm not looking for a new husband....I'm sure they are nice guys who are ugly but lets be honest here, let me get my kicks off while I still can.
I also prefer to talk to men who are also separated, that might have back fired with me with "calvin" (you'll learn about him soon enough) but honestly, it's EXTREMELY awkward to be doing this again so I'd rather talk to someone who also knows how awkward this is.
Ok so lets start off with "Stan"....(all names have been changed)
I'm Kelly and I'm 26 years young. I have a 2 year old (soon to be 3) son and well, if you're here, you will also quickly learn that I'm pregnant with my 2nd child. Why I'm being published as my dog, I have no idea...I'll try to figure that out later.
I am 20 weeks along and it's another boy. Alright now, I'll spare you most of the gory details of their father's and I's relationship but I'll try to sum it up:
-We were together 7 years, married for 1 = 8 years.
-We separated January 16th, had a night of wild sex a week later and BOOM here's number 2.
-We tried to make it work after, obviously didn't work
-He's moved on with someone else, but I'm more of a 'slowly get my feet wet' person
That being said, I'm also not about to let this pregnancy make me sit at home all day wondering 'what could've been'. I spent 6 months doing that, and I probably should've taken stock out on kleenex.
If your plan is to lecture me on how I should be just sitting down and 'focusing on the baby and your kids' then move along, I am off on injury leave from my work due to not born kiddo and get bored extremely easily.
So lets begin shall we?
I guess the major question is, "how do you go about telling these people that you're pregnant? How do they respond?" Well, that's a question I get to be faced with everyday. 2 out of 3 past dates knew and surprisingly took it well. Maybe because if things got more serious, they wouldn't have to worry about me getting pregnant? Who knows. I can also hide it very well, so it's not right in their face.
I also would like to think that someone wants to meet me based on my personality, rather than the fact that they live out their fetish of having sex with a pregnant broad.
Where do I find these guys? Where else? Internet dating.......ahhh the beauty of being able to quickly shift through people's profiles and pick and chose who I want to see. Call me low, but yes looks are a major part in this new adventure and ladies, I'm not looking for a new husband....I'm sure they are nice guys who are ugly but lets be honest here, let me get my kicks off while I still can.
I also prefer to talk to men who are also separated, that might have back fired with me with "calvin" (you'll learn about him soon enough) but honestly, it's EXTREMELY awkward to be doing this again so I'd rather talk to someone who also knows how awkward this is.
Ok so lets start off with "Stan"....(all names have been changed)
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