Plus One

So today started out like any other day - tried to get my kid to take a pee on the potty,  had my morning coffee, and called my mother to confirm plans of my son's birthday, which is tomorrow. We were planning to get together to bake his cake when Pic messaged me about how aweful her morning was going. I offered to get her out of the house and have our kids play together. What I didn't know was, I was going to do something today that I've never done before.

My mother and I made our grocery lists and go and grab Pic. I always seem to run into "The Crush" at the grocery store so because I had greasy hair and hairy legs, I asked to make one pit stop at my house. I put up my hair and threw on some jeans and off we went and I'm  glad we did.

Last weekend, I had a bonfire at my house. I decided I needed to be more social and invite some neighbours that I never really talked to. I met one of them at the grocery store and told her to come out, and jokingly said 'bring the crush with you'. Unfortunately she didn't come out but I always wondered if she told the crush about it.

At the grocery store, my mother and I go our separate ways and Pic tags along with me. There he was, right in front of the canned food department. I quickly hide behind the bread and rehearse my lines. Today was the day, I was going to ask him for his phone number. Casually and face as red as a tomato with Pic in tow, I walked up. Here's the conversation:

Me: Hey stranger! Where were you Saturday?
Crush: Hey Kel, what happened Saturday?
M: I had a bonfire and I told (neighbour) to invite you
C: Oh I had no idea, I totally would've went too
M: Well how does one get ahold of you now a days?
C: Usually by text
M: Ok well give me your number and I'll text you next time I have one
(quickly shuffles through purse... awkward silence, one of his friends walks up)
M: ok go
C: *gives number*
M: ok....well.....talk to you later!

I ran out of there as fast as I could and into an aisle on the other side of the store.  Pic caught up and we run into my mother. I refused to even look in his direction when Pic points out that he keeps pointing to us with his friend. Even at the check out counter we get spotted, and when he was going outside, he kept looking in our direction in the parking lot. I really wanted to die. Did I really JUST DO THAT?!

I joked with Pic that she is my alcohol for normally, I probably would never have done that. We chatted all the way home, reliving the conversation and both Pic and my mother reveal they've never asked for a guy's number. I joked that I channeled my inner Samantha from SATC and am up plus one on them.

Normally I would end my blog post there but with Pic the adventure never ends. I was sitting outside my  parents house when my phone rang. I wish I could tell you that it was the crush but he doesn't have my phone number. Instead it was my children's father and I was screening his call when Pic grabbed my phone and I thought innocently, she was reading any text messages he was sending. Oh HO no no, she was texting the crush. I wanted to play by the rules with this number, and message him like I said I would, at my next fire. She sent:
"Hey this is Kelly! Just wanted to send you a text so you have my number"

Fucking shoot me.

He never responded, thank God and Pic says I'll thank her later....I'm still waiting for later. If I've learned anything from today....Don't leave your phone unattended.