Last weekend, my partner in crime, (we're going to start calling her "Pic") messaged me about a baseball tournament happening in a different town. She had watched some mutual friends play the day before and informed me that it was crawling with men, in baseball uniforms, and most of them were "eleven's" (inside joke from our escapade with the 'social experiment')
I had two choices to make here:
1) Sit at home by myself (child was gone for the day) and do the responsible thing and clean my house, do laundry, read a book... OR
2) Say "WHEN AND WHERE?!"
You can probably guess my answer....
I'm an avid "Sex and the City" watcher (can you tell?). I prefer to think I'm all 4 girls mixed into one. Carrie's writing skills and bad dating judgements, mixed with Miranda's "no bullshit" attitude, with a side of Charolette's innocent thinking and hoping for the best, and a dash of Sam's hormones.
In one episode in particular, Carrie and Charolette decide to go for lunch. During this lunch, they decide to rate the men walking down the street. 2 categories: Yes they would sleep with them, No they wouldn't. Pic and I decided to take a page out of this game and use it at our baseball tournament. (We were only rating men who looked our age. Sorry grandpa, youuuuuuu're out! ahem.)
I quickly throw on a sundress, match it up with a cute necklace and flip flops and we're off! We get to the tournament, find a great parking spot and it looks like it's just starting. We get out of the car and realize...there is A LOT of men here with dogs. One of our future experiments is to bring my dogs to the dog park and see how many numbers we get. Let's start this experiment early! Back in the car we go and head off to my house to grab my pooches. Problem is, my town is not very close and I'm running low on gas. (Seems to be a recurring issue in my dating adventures).
We get to the house, grab the dogs quickly, stop and get gas, and we're off! Again! We might have burnt an hour during this side trip so by the time we got back to the tournament, things have dwindled down. Damn. We sit in the beer tent and with our note pads and pooches and start our ratings, however we added an extra category in this one: If I was drunk. Sometimes, someone isn't THAT bad looking but with a little liquid courage, things can happen.
If there's one thing I've learned out of this, I need prescription sunglasses. I have horrible distance vision and I'm sure all these men would've looked like 10's if I didn't have my glasses on. However, a couple times I was caught doing my "ratings" based on eye contact. If I had sunglasses on, I could stare all I want and they wouldn't know the difference!
Another thing we've learned is we need to make up "press badges". It became quite clear in the first hour that we weren't there to cheer anyone on. The only time we got questioned on our motives was when a couple women stopped to ask us about the dogs. During a move to a different diamond, I was starting to get sore and drove the car with my female dog while Pic decided to walk with my male. Because this was a giant tail-gating party, most of the guys had some liquid courage in them and were talking quite loud. During Pic's walk she hears some guys in the bleachers say "Hey there's one of the girls with the dogs" "Yea man, there's another girl here with one too". To this time, we're not quite sure how to take these remarks. Did we make a name for ourselves being "the girls with the dogs" or were they just making an observation? Yes, I over think this stuff.
We still had a couple hours to kill before my child returned home so we decided to go out for dinner and try to get our ratings out of 100. We go to the city (which, on the way there, we passed by "The Crush" walking down the road in my town. I waved, he waved, Pic got caught with her mouth gaping open in amazement) and decide to find the MOST crowded patio on the planet. I won't start with how long our food took, that'll keep you here all night but I will tell you that after doing some research, apparently Sunday was the last day of our city's gay pride celebration and hence the massive amounts of people.
In conclusion, I will give you my results. We didn't make it to 100, and my dogs didn't score me any numbers but, I am now known as "the girl with the dog".
Yes I would sleep with them: 24
No, not in a million years: 56
If I was drunk: 17
Grand total: 97. Pretty darn close!
No comments:
Post a Comment