My thoughts: Table for one please!

Again, I'm going to try to write out this post on my mother's tablet. Already I want to throw it out the window. I prefer to write out my blogs in complete silence, but with a 90 degree house and an a/c not working, beggars can't be choosers - they have central air.

Solomangarephobia - the fear of dining alone. Recently, a couple of my friends and I went on an assignment of sorts. Could we actually dine alone in an establishment and tell the tale? I joked that they were a bigger person than I if they could, for I couldn't but the more I thought about it, all the memories came flooding back of the times where I have.

I remember clearly my first time. I was sent on an assignment from my workplace to a different city 3 hours away. You can only take hotel room food for so long and I was there for approximately 4 months. I decided to put my big girl panties on and go to a relatively popular pub of sorts. It was during the supper rush and this was not in the smart phone days.
"How many?"
"Just me."
"Follow me"
Luckily they put me in the corner and I don't think I ate so fast in my life. I couldn't just play on my phone but I should've brought reading material. I felt judged, like I was the giant loser in the restaurant who couldn't find a date but in reality, my date was my work. After all, they were paying for it.

You watch in movies where the girl, beautiful as can be is sitting on the patio with her perfectly groomed yellow lab eating her lunch and drinking a martini. She's minding her own business, reading her book and in comes a handsome fellow they sit and chat and she dreams of the life they'll spend together.
OK, I'll admit I got that from a toothpaste commericial but does that actually happen? I can't ever remember hearing how two people met, eating dinner alone.

I have done breakfast alone in a diner and I have to admit it was awkward. It was a diner my ex and I visited frequently. Luckily, the owners must have known of my situation for they never asked where he was. I decided to follow the advice of my divorce book (ironic they're giving dating advice) and sit at the bar. People are more inclined to talk to you there, rather than a booth. I sat and ate my breakfast and was on my way with no numbers....and no visions of a life like the toothpaste commericial said.

Recently, one of my friends decided to go on a dining out adventure of her own. She is not single but had a real hankering for sushi. She decided to go to the place her man and her visit often and this woman has more balls than me - it was an all you can eat establishment. Maybe because she's a twig but as a woman with some junk in her trunk, to me that'd be the ultimate judgement. I've gone to buffets before and have seen single people and never blinked twice. Why is it I feel I'd be completely judged?

I'd love to go to restaurants I've never been, even to maybe one that charges $30 for a salad. Dress myself to the nines and have a night on the town. Just me and the city, maybe even hit up a movie but I'm not there just yet. My city's and I's relationship is still new and even though we've seen these people in public I'm still afraid to be judged.