My Thoughts: Dating and Social Media

I love my friends, they really help me get topics rolling. I was stuck on what to write this week, nothing really happening on this front. The biggest dates I've had were with the most cutest boy on the planet, but at the end of the night, we're reading elmo books and I'm changing his bum. I had thought about even doing a book report on a new book I'm reading called: "Not your mother's divorce" but I'm having a hard time getting through it, it's really opening up some wounds.

I have a couple ladies who are also new to the dating scene and often come for advice and I have no problem shelling it out. We're all new at this and we're not in highschool again. The "I like you, do you like me? Let's be boyfriend and girlfriend" just doesn't fly. It's become this giant complicated dance that if you step on the other person's toes, you're likely to get the door shut in your face.

We're in the years of social media, and here's my thoughts on two subjects: Facebook and texting.

Facebook
Ok so a new guy comes in your life. You go on a date, it goes well and you're all of the sudden sending Facebook friend requests. In my opinion, this is a giant no-no. I've had some dates ask if I had Facebook and usually I respond with "Yes, but I'm never on it" (Lies, I live on the damn thing) or "No". Do I have something to hide? Well, no not really. (besides this blog, that'd be awkward them reading my thoughts on the date) but I prefer to keep my social and dating life separate.

Facebook has created an atmosphere that we're able to share everything, pictures, stories, status comments and you can get to know anyone usually by their facebook. Now, if I find out a last name or an email I can hit up your account and, if you don't keep it locked up:
-You went to a certain school
-Your best friend is named Joe
-Fluffy died yesterday
-Kid's pictures

Ah, the kid pictures. I have a TON of my son on my facebook. But here's the thing, I don't want to know what your kid looks like just yet. That's the biggest turn off when I'm looking at a profile on the dating site. To me, it's advertising. I don't want to know what yours look like, and I'm sure as hell not pulling out pictures of mine during the first date. It kinda reminds me of this:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilWGgFP5NScC3g1rdU4uMNcUndhPyguDOrSAzY1QDpDlcoUerZsmSN0du6HKoNdcwCbu-5TZg0qG2HR4IBDdnyp-0cfvryY1lv9zEjKLX1OWxMf8F4Su_j_3znCub8SoOq3vqZQ2obJKko/s1600/look-at-my-kids.gif

Plus, you go on a date and of course one of the questions is: "How'd your day go? How'd your weekend go?" Well, if you're like me, I keep that stuff pretty up to date so in reality, you know exactly how my day went and you know that fluffy died yesterday. We now have nothing to talk about. 

Eventually, maybe when you become an official couple you can be on each other's facebook and make it 'facebook official' but during the getting to know process, your life is your life and my life is my life. 

(Quick note, if they do add you and you don't want to be mean and deny, facebook has this little option called 'restricted lists'. It allows people to only see what the general public see [pending how you have it set up] and they're still considered your friend. It's great also when going through a break-up and you don't want to stir drama by deleting your ex's family and friends)

Texting

I love texting. It's a great tool. You can keep in contact with someone all day, get to know them better and you're still on another side of a screen. But again, there is a line to be drawn.

A friend of mine went on a date and here comes the problem with texting:

"We texted all day, and we went on the date, we really had nothing to talk about; it became extremely awkward"

I had become victim of this before as well, you like the guy and you want to talk to him all day. You're head over heels and just cannot wait to see their face again, however there is such a thing as 'too much' texting and it's one of the hardest things to overcome.

Remember Landon? Well we know how that turned out, but before his craziness appeared, we talked ALL the time. Then we went on the date and poof, it was the same conversation over again. Booooring. 

So what do I recommend? A quick "hey hope you're having a good day" once a day is sufficient. Keep yourself in their mind but don't overdue it. Especially if you're new to the scene again. Also, keep in mind, once you've already texted them, don't continue to. Wait for their response. If they don't respond.... "They're just not that into you"