Friday, September 13, 2013

Flirtation or Just Being Polite?

I wonder if yesterday was the 13th for me. Apparently my bad luck runs a day ahead. I woke up in the morning, took a shower, got dressed and off I went to my baby doctor appointment. In a hospital full of people I made my way to my appointment, ran into my uncle in the lobby, and to the store I went. From the store I picked up my son from my parents and off to have lunch at a friend's house. There did I learn that I had spent the entire day with my maternity pants on backwards. In my defense, there was a tag in the front and in the back and if you've ever seen maternity pants, everything is just for looks...there is no zipper, just spandex.

My son went down for his nap and after he woke up and started running around, I came to the realization that his were on backwards as well. We were a hot mess yesterday! Ok, moving along...

Over the past couple months, I have taken notes of scenarios that have happened to me and some are quite obvious that it was just politeness but in a world where politeness is now so scarce, are we mixing it for flirtation?

The first two scenarios happened with older men and I really feel they set the bar in terms of being polite, helpful and kind. Maybe it's because of an older generation and they were taught to be polite with everyone, but what about my generation? What the hell happened?

1) I was visiting a friend and on my way home my check oil light came on. Weird, I wasn't due for another oil change for at least a month and because I don't go anywhere, I wasn't at all near my kilometers. I pulled up to the local gas station and thankfully because I've had my fair share of beaters, checking oil is like second nature. Low and behold my car wasn't lying, she was almost run dry. I waddle my way into the store, grab some oil and on my way back a man approached me and asked if I needed help. I graciously thanked him but informed him I had it under control. He made small chat as I proceeded to add oil and I again thanked him for his offer and away I went. Here's the catch, there were two other men about my age whom didn't even blink and eye the minute I popped my hood. Maybe because they saw the other gentleman approach me or maybe because female independence is so high that, they don't offer anymore.

2) There was a steam engine show happening in the next town. I figured I have a son, boys like tractors, this would be a smash hit and I'd probably get some blogging material. What I didn't realize is most of these men were already dipping into their retirement plans. It was around lunch time and for some reason, the smell of burgers mixed with caramelized onions was just heavenly and baby # 2 was making it quite known that he wanted some and he wanted some now. Onward bound to the pavilion we go and after waiting for what seemed like forever for our food, it was time to find a place to sit however, every single picnic table was taken. I felt like Forrest Gump on his first bus ride with trying to find a spot to sit. Towards the end of the pavilion a couple of older gentlemen whom I would actually give my seat to, stood up and said "Ma'am, you and that tyke come sit here, we don't bite". So they all squished together and my son and I sat and chit chatted with them, thanked them and were on our way. Now, would that have happened if these gentlemen were my age? I'm going to go ahead and say probably not. These two scenarios were obviously the far right handed polite spectrum but the next two....well, you be the judge.

3) We all know what happened the last time I ran into "the crush". I was able to go down a path that I have never done and get his phone number. Ah, such a powerful moment and one that I am still quite proud of myself with. However what you don't know is well, crush doesn't like to respond to text messages. Twice I have invited him out to events, twice I've gotten no response. I could just be like any normal person and call him to see if I got a fake phone number but the mystery behind it all is kinda what keeps the suspense going...if there is any suspense. So, here in lies the issue, was he being polite by giving me A phone number or was he actually flirting and decided that a preggo isn't something he wants to deal with at the moment. I kinda wouldn't blame him for the second option there because lets be honest here, even I don't want to deal with me sometimes. So, the moral of the story here is, if you give a person of the opposite gender and who is single your phone number, are you being polite or are you being flirtatious?

4) I have a friend who wanted me to meet this REALLY nice guy and I had an opportunity to a couple weekends back. I was excited/nervous because well, it was kinda a blind date set up that he wasn't aware of which was kind of nice because that awkwardness wasn't going to be there. We were at a party and decided to play dodgeball in the pool...well kinda. Mostly it was just throwing a ball back and forth and aiming to splash people in the face...hey, who decided that was a great game to play ladies that were there? Anyways so I become said boy's partner and every time he'd get the ball he'd always hand it off to me if I didn't have one. Also at one point he made the comment that "I was his favourite partner" (there was another male in the pool before me playing) and I responded with an "oh really? *giggle*...God I'm gay. Anyways, we made small chit chat later that night, where I learned what he did for a living, he learned what I do but the party was dying down and it was time to go.

I facebook messaged him (I know, big no no in my books however, I didn't friend request him) the next day stating that it was nice to meet him and I had a lot of fun the night before. Facebook is a tattle tale and will tell you when people read messages and he read mine a minute later but never responded. Ok then. Almost exactly 24 hours later I got a simple reply of "yea I had fun too and it was nice to meet you"...the end.

What the hell gentlemen! See this is why we're such complicated creatures because well, we don't know when you're flirting or just being polite and I guess the same kinda goes for us women now that I think about it. Looking back at my horrible dates, I tried to be polite by letting men down easy, hoping they'd read between the lines that maybe they were taking my politeness as being hard to get (I'm looking at you Landon).

So in the end I guess if someone doesn't make it completely obvious anymore, we just don't know.

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