Both my pregnancies were rough - there's no question about that. With #1, at 16 weeks I screwed up my sciatic nerve that it would go into random spasms so badly that I was taken off of work right away. Itty bitty baby.....oh man, he was ten times worse. I don't remember if I even went into what my injury was but here it goes, at 12 weeks pregnant, I threw my hips out of alignment. I couldn't walk without a cane (and it came with me for a couple of dates, especially with Stan) and I'm pretty sure my chiropractor count got into the double digits. Finally one helped me being able to walk on my own...and then #1 brought home Fifth Disease. If you don't know what Fifth disease is, basically it's just a rash that kid's get, it's transmitted like the chicken pox and really isn't a big deal...if you're not pregnant. Since I was pregnant, I had bloodwork done and in fact, I tested positive for exposure which threw me into "high risk" of the baby becoming anemic. I had bi-weekly ultrasounds and he didn't become anemic, however the baby is deaf in his left ear. We're not sure of the cause or why at this moment.
Clearly my body doesn't take pregnancies well, however I can say I never had morning sickness and I never looked pregnant at any given moment unless I put tight clothes on and even then, I just looked like I ate too many big macs. Because of this, I had decided I didn't want any more kids. In reality, I was okay to stop just at one. I was an only child and have been given so many opportunities that I feel, I may not have been given if I was competing with a sibling. When I informed my ex that I wanted just one, him being a twin and convinced it was hereditary for the males (the amount of twins on his side are insane) and biology tells us that's not possible, I'd still get the response of "well if you don't give me twins, someone else will".... you'd think that would be a red flag but you know...young and dumb.
I first introduced you to "Stranger Danger" in my last post and I'll give you some vague details. He has two boys of his own, older than mine, and had made the conscious decision to stop. He had himself altered and honestly, I had mixed feelings. I was happy I didn't have to worry about birth control anymore, happy that I didn't have to put my body through that again if he wanted more kids, but at the same time kinda sad. My two boys plus his two boys equals....four boys. I'd never get my little girl. Even though it's physically impossible to predict the sex before conception and even though we both have kids, I'd never be able to give him that gift from me...and that saddens me to an extent.
Sure we could adopt and I have brought up that conversation to him. I've been watching documentaries on Netflix about the gender problem that's happening in China and India. Everyone there wants boys, and so girls are either killed or abandoned. If you haven't watched them and want a good cry, the two were: "It's a girl" and "Somewhere In between". Adoption is extremely costly and because we'll be raising four boys together, I'm sure I'll be living at my local Costco. We could make it a "10 year goal" I'll be 38, he'll be 43 with the potential of one his boys living on their own, maybe even having kids of his own....did I just make you feel old there SD? lol. The youngest will be 10 and I feel adding a new addition to the family may not be the best decision out there.
As much as I'm in love with stranger and think that he's the most perfect guy on the planet for me, we don't know the future. I know I didn't plan on being a single mom of two kids and he probably didn't think he would be single with two kids as well. I don't want to be known as the woman with 3 kids, two baby daddies, and on the market again. I know Stranger would treat the situation a lot more different than my ex does but the thought really doesn't appeal to me.
So that's why the decision was made.
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